Photoshop of Horrors - What You Can Do

 December 29, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

This past fall, I was invited back for the 4th year in a row to speak to 1500 7th grade girls at the Young Women’s Leadership Conference in York, PA. After the event, I received a Facebook message from a girl named Makenna who had attended the conference.

Makenna wrote:

Hey Kathleen. I was at your York College conference. I’m writing a letter to Seventeen Magazine about how they photoshop their pictures and I was wondering if you had any pointers. Thanks.

Not only did I write back to Makenna telling her how proud I was of her for taking action, but I figured it would help more girls if I were to share my pointers in a blog post so that other girls can take action too.

Below is my initial response to Makenna, her first draft of the letter, followed by my suggestions and comments on the letter.

Kathleen’s response:

OMG!!! Bravo Makenna! My best pointer is to use lots of “I” statements so that you’re not blaming them, but encouraging them to make changes. If you say “you” it puts people on the defense and if you say “I” then people will listen without feeling threatened.

So I would start out with a compliment about their magazine… why you like it, what you’ve learned from it.

Then I would say why you’re writing to them and why you are passionate about the topic of no photoshopping or full disclosure when they do photoshop a picture. Tell them how these pictures make you feel and believe in unrealistic and unattainable beauty or how you think this damages girls’ self-esteem and body image.

Then maybe say how you think being real would help girls.

And then end with a giant thank you and say it as if you knew 100% that they were going to listen to you and make those changes.

Feel free to send me the letter before you send it and I’ll make some suggestions.

So proud of you Makenna!!! I think I’ll write a blog post about this so I can encourage other girls to take action.

love,
Kathleen

Makenna’s First Draft:

Dear Seventeen Magazine,

I’m writing to express the feelings of myself, fellow readers and millions of girls around the world. I love your magazine but personally I have only one problem, the pictures. Though these pictures are beautiful they are also deceiving. Every day when girls see these pictures they see a flawless, beautiful model. They say to themselves, “Wow I wish I could look as pretty as she does”. That’s where the problem begins. When girls see these they realize they can’t look like that and feel depressed. How do I know this you ask? Earlier in my 7th grade year the girls went to a Young Women’s Leadership conference at York College. There Kathleen Hassan showed us a video of a typical girl. They took photos of her and with the use of a photo shopping program changed her entirely. From head to toe you would think it was a completely different person. Depression, anorexia and cutting are affects of this photo shopping. We need to put this to a stop. All I ask of you is for a small article in your magazine so I may get my message to girls everywhere and make a change. I may be just a small town 13 year old girl, but I want to make a difference. I need your help to make this dream come true. 


Your Reader,

Makenna Peterson.


Additional note from Makenna:

Demi Lovato lashed out on Disney Channel for making fun of anorexia on an episode of Shake It Up, maybe that might be a good point to put in there. So it will show it’s not something to joke about.


Kathleen’s Comments & Suggestions:

OK Makenna - I’ve read through your article and thought about it quite a bit and here are my comments/suggestions/edits and thoughts…
Please take these as constructive rather than as criticism. I’m very proud of you for taking action and it’s a good start!

Your first line opens with “I’m writing to express the feelings of myself, fellow readers and millions of girls around the world.”

You can only speak for yourself unless you have done extensive research and have data to back up your claim of what millions of girls around the world are also thinking.

==> Write only from your perspective
==> If you want to include the opinions of others, use examples like the Demi Lovato story to back up your claim
==> Start a Facebook page and try to get other girls to “like” the page and make comments about whether or not they think magazines should tell their readers if a photo has been photoshopped - or eliminate photoshopping all together. (since the writing of the article, Makenna and I have created a Facebook page called Photoshop of Horrors: Just Say NO! “Like” this page so we can get millions of girls educated and empowered to stop altering images and the minds of young women!)

The next section: I love your magazine but personally I have only one problem, the pictures. Though these pictures are beautiful they are also deceiving. Every day when girls see these pictures they see a flawless, beautiful model. They say to themselves, “Wow I wish I could look as pretty as she does”. That’s where the problem begins. When girls see these they realize they can’t look like that and feel depressed.

I wouldn’t change a thing!

Next, I would eliminate “How do I know this you ask?” You’re making the assumption that they are asking and you don’t know that.

I might lead into the next section with something like “I never really gave this much thought before, but recently “me and the girls in my 7th grade class went to a Young Women’s Leadership conference at York College.

Next, you need to explain who Kathleen Hassan is so they know who you are talking about. There Kathleen Hassan, “the keynote speaker who is a life coach and teen empowerment specialist,” showed us a video of a typical girl. They took photos of her and with the use of a photo shopping program changed her entirely. From head to toe you would think it was a completely different person.

Your next statement, Depression, anorexia and cutting are affects of this photo shopping is powerful, but again you don’t have statistics or facts to back this claim up… so you may want to say “Depression, anorexia and cutting are just some of the effects that could come from the deception of photoshopping.”

Finally, in regards to the last section you wrote:

We need to put this to a stop. All I ask of you is for a small article in your magazine so I may get my message to girls everywhere and make a change. I may be just a small town 13 year old girl, but I want to make a difference. I need your help to make this dream come true.

They are not going to give you space to get your message out there because they depend on the money they get from advertisers who are selling the products on the pages of their magazines and those advertisers are the ones who are photoshopping the photos! But they may print your article as a “Letter to the Editor,” so perhaps reword the final paragraph and request like this:


We need to put a stop to this. I may be just a small town, 13 year old girl, but I want to make a difference. As a loyal reader, I appreciate your Body Peace Treaty, but you need to take it a step further and either put an end to photoshopping or force advertisers to disclose the truth when a photo has been altered.

Here is a great website called Beauty Redefined that is dedicated to helping women recognize the brainwashing by the media and here is their Facebook Page.

Also, here is the video produced by the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty called Evolution which shows the complete transformation and alteration of a girl and looks nothing whatsoever like the real girl!

I’m so proud of you for taking action. Please let me know what next step you took so I can cheer you on!!

Thanks so much Makenna


The Media has become fixated on an unrealistic illusion of perfection… everything is retouched… from hair to boobs to whiter teeth! There are 12 alterations to this photo… can you spot them all?


Digital anorexia! Ralph Lauren was forced to issue a public apology after hiring an already thin size eight model, Filippa Hamilton, and digitally retouching their shots of her so that her head actually appeared significantly wider than her waist.

What do you think? Should magazines be required to inform their readers when photos have been digitally altered? Should we ban Photoshop all together?

Take Action Challenge: Make sure to “like” Makenna’s new Facebook Page: Photoshop of Horrors and add your name and voice to the discussion. You can make a difference!

 



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Being Different Can Be A Blessing - The True Story of Rudolph

 December 24, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night.

His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bob’s wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer Little Barbara couldn’t understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad’s eyes and asked, “Why isn’t Mommy just like everybody else’s Mommy?” Bob’s jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob’s life. Life always had to be different for Bob.

Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he’d rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn’s bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938.

Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn’t even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn’t buy a gift, he was determined to make one - a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and told the animal’s story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling. Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn’t end there.

The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book. Wards went on to print, Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book.

In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter. But the story doesn’t end there either.

Bob’s brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore, it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of White Christmas.

The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn’t so bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.

Happy Holidays! Celebrate who you are and give the world the gift of YOU!

** note ** I did not write this story, it was sent to me from a friend in an email and I just had to share it with you!



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Stay Where You Are - So I Can Feel Safe

 December 20, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

There’s a certain sense of security and camaraderie in the struggle of life. But what happens when someone decides to let go of the struggle and step into the joy and flow of life? Do people like you better when you play it safe and play the victim of circumstances?

When someone decides to step out of the role they’ve been playing and makes a bold move towards change, you’d think that everyone would stand up and cheer! But more often then not, people try to put you back where they think you belong so they can feel safe. Misery loves company is an expression that, although few of us would admit, really does make us feel a little bit better about our own lives if someone else is struggling right along with us.

The Mobile Effect

Imagine everyone in your family and all of your closest friends are all hanging on a mobile. No matter how functional or dysfunctional each individual or family unit may be, each person keeps the entire structure in balance. But when one dares to take themselves off the hook and opts for something different - even if that something different is fabulous - everyone feels the shift and the whole unit is off kilter and out of whack.

The good news is that everyone will eventually find a new sense of balance. The bad news is that the time in between can sometimes send the bold adventurer, who disrupted the status quo, clambering back into old patterns and habits of people pleasing while putting themselves back on the hook!

I recently made such a bold move in my own life and am living out my wildest dreams! I relocated my life and business to Naples, Florida and I’m having the time of my life. I’ve been amazed, but not surprised by some of the comments I’ve received from family and friends:
- you bitch!
- must be nice
- we get it - you’re happy
- I’m ignoring your posts on Facebook - they’re way too positive
- how come your life is so serene and I can barely get through the day?

Sometimes I’ve found myself holding back so I don’t come off as bragging. Then I remember the quote by Marianne Williamson from her book “A Return to Love,” Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. Then I remember that I’ve been here before and that this too shall pass. I’ve been on a healing and spiritual journey for the last 20 years and I’ve had a lot of practice in letting go and trusting the guidance of God. I know that following that inner guidance is what truly serves the world and I’m willing to step into the unknown and light the way for others.

If the opinions of others have kept you stuck where you are, if you’ve been dreaming about making a change in your life - be it a bold, life-altering move, or a tiny shift in your daily habits or routines, one of the best ways to step confidently in the direction of your dreams is to create a strong support system around you.

Create a Strong Support System

Here are a few ways to get the support you need to make your move and make your mark on the world:

- Start a Mastermind Group. Gather up 4-6 people who are all ready to step boldly in the direction of their dreams. Commit to meet regularly to brainstorm ideas, encourage and cheer each other on and hold each other accountable for action items.

- Find a Goal Buddy. Establish a partnership and commitment with one person who shares similar goals as you, such as - getting in shape, writing a book, quitting smoking, etc.

- Join a 12-Step Recovery Group. It’s not only alcoholics who work the 12 steps. There are recovery groups for over-eaters, over-spenders, gamblers, sex-addicts and co-dependents. Join a group, go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the 12 steps.

- Hire a Coach! A coach is like a personal trainer for the mind and will help you gain clarity and focus to direct your thoughts towards your goals and away from what you don’t want.

The Only One Who Likes Change is a Wet Baby!

Change doesn’t have to be as hard or scary. The right support around you - to hold your hand and cheer you on - will remind you that you are safe and powerful.

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes!

Are you ready to take a baby step or a giant leap in the direction of your dreams? Maybe you’d like to…

=> start a business
=> find new love
=> get a new career (or a raise)
=> lose weight
=> get your child(ren) to behave better
=> or build your self-esteem & self-confidence

No matter what you’d like to change or achieve, the secrets to success are the same…

    #1: Get clear. As specifically as possible, decide what you want. The more clear you are on what you want to have in your life, the more likely you are to achieve it.

    #2: Get perspective. Most people don’t tell anyone what they want or what they are struggling with and because of that they don’t get an outside perspective.

    #3: Get support. Very few people (if any) achieve anything great alone. Sports stars have teammates and coaches. Be willing to ask the people in your life to support you.

As my holiday gift to you, I am offering a substantial discount on a one hour Laser Coaching Session. Sessions typically cost $150, but by using the Discount Code GRACE during checkout, you’ll pay only $100—that’s a 33% savings! AND as an added bonus, if you decide to continue with ongoing monthly coaching, I will apply that $100 towards your first month of coaching!

In our coaching session we’ll work together to…



=> Create a crystal clear vision for ‘ultimate success’ so you know exactly what you want, where you’re headed, and what you need to do to make it happen.


=> Uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your ability to make changes that last or that are slowing down your progress


=> Leave this session renewed, re-energized, and inspired to finally achieve the change you seek- once and for all


If you’re ready to make 2012 your best year yet… click here to purchase your Laser Coaching Session NOW!

Happy Holidays & Here’s to becoming Your Very Best YOU!

I’m not bragging… but here’s what living your dreams looks and feels like!!!

 

 



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Jess Weiner & The E.F. Hutton Effect: When You Talk Is Anyone Listening?

 August 16, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

E. F. Hutton & Co. was a stock brokerage company founded in 1904 and was best known for its commercials in the 1970s and 1980s based on the phrase, “When E. F. Hutton talks, people listen.”

I’m sure every blogger can relate to the scene from the movie Julie & Julia when Julie, in the early stages of writing her blog asks “Is anyone listening?” Social media has changed the way we communicate and it sometimes feels like everyone is competing for air time - tweeting, posting and sharing our lives, thoughts, accomplishments and viewpoints with the world.

Last week, this played out in a big way when Jess Weiner’s article ran in Glamour Magazine. The title alone was provocative enough to cause quite a stir “Jess Weiner’s Weight Struggle: ‘Loving My Body Almost Killed Me,’” and the HAES (Health At Every Size), ED (Eating Disorders) and Positive Body Image Community all “weighed in” with comments, tweets, blog posts and status updates. Some were supportive and congratulatory on Jess’s courage, vulnerability and decision to put her health first, while others ripped her apart for the mixed message she was sending to a community that looked to her as a leader.

Although temped, I did not immediately add my voice to the mix. Instead, I sat back and observed what was happening and used that time to check my motives carefully. I realized that part of my initial reaction was - dare I admit it? Envy! There I said it. When Jess Weiner talks - people listen. You may not like what she had to say, but she has opened the door for amazing dialogue and for me, she created another giant opportunity to really turn within and pay attention to my own feelings and reactions. In other words - to listen to myself.

In my desire to be heard, to have a voice, to be acknowledged and recognized, I have come to understand that even if the whole world was waiting with baited breath to hear the next utterance that came out of my mouth - none of it - not one bit of it matters unless I take the time to truly listen to myself. As an advocate for healthy self-esteem and empowerment for teen girls and young women, I know I can’t give what I don’t have inside to offer. Like Abraham Lincoln acknowledged, “You can’t help the poor by becoming one of them,” likewise, I can’t help girls by acting like one or by relying on my old knee-jerk patterns of behavior.

It occurred to me, in watching the drama unfold in the blogosphere last week, that many of those who reacted and commented on the article, were also trying to be heard and vie for airtime with a well-placed link back to their own blogs. Ironically it’s this need to be heard, acknowledged and accepted that is at the root of many of our addictive behaviors and the greatest thing that could come out of all of this would be that we all begin to see that we are the ones who need to listen and approve of ourselves. Blaming Jess Weiner, or anyone else for that matter, is symptomatic of the lack of taking responsibility for our own lives. Whenever anyone is triggering something in me - it’s always me and my own thoughts that I need to look at.

I am in no way diminishing the seriousness of an eating disorder and as a woman in recovery, I know firsthand the challenges of healing from an addiction. But thankfully because of my recovery, I also know that whenever I am pointing the finger at anyone else, there are always three more pointing right back at me! It is only when I take full responsibility for my own thoughts and understand that I am the one who has created my own reality by the power of my thoughts - regardless of external circumstances - only then can I begin to transform and heal. Believing that one woman, by sharing her own experience has the power to damage an entire social movement is the epitome of giving away your own power.

In this new, ever-changing frontier of social media, where we get our sense of approval and acknowledgment from the “like” button, it is important to remember to hit the “like” button for ourselves. Now more than ever before, as our outreach becomes wider and the world becomes smaller due to our social networks, it is vital to turn within and take the time to listen to your own inner voice, guidance and truth. Otherwise, we are just adding more noise to an already very noisy world.

I personally want to thank Jess Weiner for providing me with a huge opportunity to pause, go within, check my motives and ask for guidance. This article was the result of that and came from a deep place inside of me. It may never reach the masses, but what is most important is that I took the time to listen to me -  and that is recovery.  I no longer need the whole world’s approval to feel good about me. I have also learned in my healing journey that whatever we resist persists and that what we push against just gets stronger. So today I am simply going to pray for those still suffering with any kind of addiction and for those still stuck in blaming others for how they feel. I have witnessed firsthand, and therefore will never doubt, the power of prayer, yet I also know that faith without works is dead. There is more work to be done - but it always begins within.

Let me be the first to “like” this! When Kathleen Hassan talks - I listen!

 

 



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Wouldn’t It Be Cool: How to Effortlessly Manifest & Attract What You Want

 July 27, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Six days a week, I set my alarm for the crack of dawn and attend a 7:00am meditation meeting. I’ve never been an early bird and yet this particular discipline that I have been developing and strengthening for the last six months or so has been nothing short of life-changing. Beginning my day grounded in silence, in union with other like-minded individuals, coming together to connect and improve our conscious contact with the God of our understanding sets the tone for the kind of day I want to have.

Every day when I come home from this gathering, I sit in my car and just observe the goings on in my yard. There is a chipmunk who sits on the wall in the exact same spot every morning, as if that is his little sacred space and the way he starts his day! Sometimes there are bunnies in the yard and always a variety of birds pecking away at the newly seeded grass my husband just planted!

The other day I pulled into my driveway and thought to myself Wouldn’t it be cool to see a mother deer with her baby deer. It was just a random thought, realizing that I hadn’t seen any deer in the yard yet this year. Last year I saw 5 or 6 of them quite frequently. I thought nothing more about it and just went on about my day.

At 2:30pm, I was on the phone with a coaching client. She was describing in detail her frustration about something that had not yet manifested in her life and I was doing my best to teach her about vibration and how the Universe answers us according to our dominant thoughts and vibrational offerings. In other words, if you’re focused on the fact that your desire has not shown up yet - that is what your thoughts create - more of the same results and you will continue to attract that same effect so long as you continue to focus on the lack of whatever it is that you’ve been wanting.

All of a sudden, I glanced out the window and there in my yard was a mother deer and her baby. I gasped and nearly fell off my chair and my poor client wasn’t sure what the heck was happening to me! I grabbed my camera and tried to capture this amazing moment, but only managed to snap a picture of the mother deer’s ass as she scampered off into the woods! Alas, I googled this shot and cannot take the credit for this (but swear it looked exactly the way I saw them in my yard!!)

God’s divine timing was absolute perfection. I could not have come up with a better example to explain the power of our thoughts had I searched every self-help book and googled every website for how this stuff works!

This is how it works!

Thoughts become things!! Like cell phone waves that magically and wirelessly transmit text messages to your phone - your thoughts create vibrations that get transmitted out into the Universe and that which is likened unto itself is drawn. However, our thoughts are filtered through our habits, beliefs and judgments about those thoughts. So even if you’re thinking about a particular goal and oftentimes to the point of obsessing over that wish, dream or desire, you are probably vibrating more towards the lack of it than you are the having of it.

The Universe is perfect and will deliver unto you exactly what you’re asking for - wanted or not! The reason that I am finally understanding this myself is because the more I quiet my mind with this daily practice of meditation, the more I align my thoughts with the energy of love, peace and the power of God, the more I effortlessly attract more of the same back to me! And that’s how it works - every single time - without exception.

The reason those deer showed up in my yard was because my thoughts and vibration held no ulterior motive or judgment about what it would mean to have a deer with her baby show up in my yard. I just thought it would be cool to see that and VOILA!! the Universe responded.

There is no level of complexity or difficulty for God or the Universe to deliver unto you whatever it is you desire - it is your belief or judgment about the difficulty or your worthiness about receiving it is what blocks the manifestation.

Lots of people struggle with the notion of doing God’s will and think that means that they will have to abandon their goals and dreams to live a life of indentured servitude. I have come to believe and intuitively know and trust that God’s will for me is pure joy. When I hold onto the belief that when I publish the book, make a million dollars, lose the weight… (fill in the blank with your own blah, blah, blah), then I’ll be happy - I am actually sending out a vibration of forever striving - and that is exactly what will keep showing up in my life. When I let go of how I think that joy is supposed to come to me and allow myself to be fully present in the moment - I am always surprised and joyful in how simple it is to co-create a life I love.

Take Action Challenge:

The next time you have a desire, try detaching from the outcome, stop obsessing about how you’re gonna get it and just focus on the joy it will bring you to have it. Try saying “Wouldn’t it be cool to…” and just get in the feel good feelings of how much fun it will be to see that in your life. That is the energy of everyday miracles and that is exactly how you effortlessly manifest the life of your dreams!



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Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty - The Importance of a Daily Meditation Practice

 July 24, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Years ago, I read a business book on networking by Harvey Mackay entitled “Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty.” It was about making contacts and relationships before you need them so that when you’re actually in the process of building a business, creating a new product, launching a global cause-related initiative, you have the support and resources already in place.

Recently, I experienced an entirely different understanding of “digging my well before I’m thirsty” as it relates to prayer and meditation and it came to me in the least likely place of being encased in the tunnel of an MRI machine. 

I’d been having chronic pain and limited mobility in my shoulder. Although not debilitating, it was prohibiting me from fully participating and enjoying simple things like downward facing dog pose in yoga. Part of me wanted to just “suck it up” and push through it, but the responsible part of me wanted to make sure I hadn’t torn a tendon or ligament and damage it further by continuing to ignore it, so I went for the MRI.

I’ve never been claustrophobic, so I wasn’t overly concerned with being in the tunnel, but I was not prepared for the loud and strange noises once they shoved me inside that tube!! Thankfully, I have a daily meditation practice and immediately and intuitively knew how to use the sounds to take me deeper within and find that quiet and sacred place where nothing disturbs my serenity. It was over before I knew it and came out of there feeling like I just took a nap or had a massage!

So why was my MRI experience so vastly different from others who have been known to flip out inside that tunnel? Everyone has different reactions to the stressors in our lives. Stress is our bodies’ reaction to any external stimulation or change - and God knows, there is certainly more than enough external stimuli in our world to react to.

The Cost of Stress

It is our reaction to that stimuli that puts us into overwhelm, that keeps us stuck in the past with regret or jettisons us into the future with worry. Stress increases fight or flight reactions in our body that leads to ulcers, high blood pressure, skin and autoimmune disorders. Left unattended, it not only causes us physical damage, it affects our capacity to be in relationships, thrive in our careers and find deep contentment in life.

A Different Approach: Silencing the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee!

Just the term “stress management” infers that it is possible to manage and manipulate the external environment to help us feel less stress - which is not only an illusion but is totally “bass ackwards!” If you really want to manage stress, you need to go to the source - to the very cause of every effect you see - to your own thought system.

However, trying to think your way out of stress is like the proverbial blind leading the blind - you cannot heal your own mind with the same sick mind! So the best approach is to learn how to quiet your mind altogether and allow some space between you and your thoughts. We must learn how separate who we are from our thoughts and stop identifying ourselves by our thoughts.

Referred to by some as “the monkey mind” or by others as the hamster on the wheel that never stops spinning, or what I like to call the “itty bitty shitty committee,” we need to first become aware that it is there, and practice simply observing it and then detaching from those incessant mental gymnastics that exhaust us and keep us stuck in the loop of chronic stress and anxiety.

Mindfulness and Meditation - The Keys to Inner Peace

Jon Kabat-Zinn, a world renowned author, lecturer and founder of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School,  teaches mindfulness meditation as a technique to help people cope with stress, anxiety, pain and illness. He describes meditation as if you are weaving a parachute. On day one you may have only woven a few strands together. But over time, it is the cumulative effect of consistent practice that eventually creates this parachute that will carry you safely through the challenges of life when you figuratively get kicked out of the plane and are free falling.

We all know what stress is, yet mindfulness is our innate capacity to be with whatever is happening in this moment. Mindfulness teaches us how to stay with our experience rather than run from it or suppress it. We learn by remaining present with our breath how to live life in the now and tap into the wisdom and natural healing capacity of our bodies.

Below is a guided meditation that I created to get you started in learning how to be in the miraculous power of the present.  Do yourself a favor and start now! Don’t wait until life kicks you out of the plane to realize that you haven’t taken the time to weave your own parachute!! Dig your well BEFORE you’re thirsty and start TODAY!



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What If You Knew You Couldn’t Fail?

 July 11, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Imagine if you knew in advance that you’d already won and that nothing you could do - or not do would change that. Imagine how different your approach to life would be. Your attitude and perspective would be so dramatically shifted from the way it is right now. You’d play more and worry less. You’d see challenges as opportunities to be creative. You would no longer be driven by the self-centered fear of not being good enough because you’d already know that you are enough.

Well, guess what? You’ve already won! You already are enough! For you were created in the image and likeness of God. Within you lies the changeless and eternal truth that you are one with your Creator. Our only purpose here is to awaken to the truth of that and let go of the illusion that we are anything less than the love and light of God. Our job is to allow God to fully manifest all that He is through us. We are already all that, we simply need to remember that and stop resisting and clinging to who we think we are.

Everything is Possible

Years ago I heard Benjamin Zander, Conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, Teacher at the New England Conservatory of Music and author of “The Art of Possibility” speak at a Toastmasters Convention. He shared a revolutionary approach to teaching music in that at the beginning of each semester, he gave all of his students an A and then had them imagine what they could do with music knowing they had already succeeded in the class.

When he first proposed this far-out concept, many of his foreign students just could not accept that they didn’t have to work hard to earn the A. Eventually, he got them all to see how the struggling to achieve actually blocked the flow of creativity and prohibited them from fully expressing and creating music from their divine source of power within. The results were astounding and since that time, his concept and miraculous approach to creating music became the book “The Art of Possibility” and has catapulted Zander onto the stage as an in-demand presenter at conferences all over the world.

I’m Not Lost… I’m Exploring

Jana Stanfield is a gifted singer, songwriter and inspirational speaker who travels the world giving her Keynote Concerts. I first met Jana over 15 years ago at my very first National Speakers Association Conference. We met in passing on the trade show floor and she handed me a bumper sticker that said “I’m not lost… I’m exploring” and it totally changed my perspective from that moment on. I realized that I was on a spiritual journey and that I wasn’t lost, that it was OK not to know and that it was safe to trust that I was being guided to my truth.

Now imagine how different your life would be if you knew that you weren’t lost and that you were being guided every step of the way. Try that on for size and see if you can feel your body letting go of some fear and struggle. You’ve already won. You’ve already got the A. So what would you explore today, knowing that you can’t get it wrong?

One of my all-time favorite Jana Stanfield songs is “If I Were Brave.” Recently Jana put out a request on FaceBook to submit pictures of a time when we were being really brave. I submitted a picture of me swinging through the air with the (not so) greatest of ease on the flying trapeze and Jana selected it to be in her music video!!

Here are some of the lyrics of the song. Take some time today and answer some of the questions she poses;

“If I Were Brave” - Jana Stanfield

What would I do, if I knew that I could not fail?

If I believed, would the wind always fill up my sail?

How far would I go? What could I achieve,

trusting the hero in me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,

where fools and dreamers dare to tread.

I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.

What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

What if we’re all meant to do what we secretly dream?

What would you ask, if you knew you could have anything?

Like the mighty oak sleeps, in the heart of a seed,

are there miracles in you and me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,

where fools and dreamers dare to tread.

I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.

What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

If I refuse to listen to the voice of fear,

would the voice of courage whisper in my ear?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,

where fools and dreamers dare to tread.

I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.

What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

And now… Here is her music video starring me!! (watch the whole thing and be totally inspired… but just make sure you watch me at 3:54!)

 


You’ve already won & you cannot fail! Go for it!!

 



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Posted in A Course in Miracles | Kathleen Hassan | Life Skills | Personal Power | Risk-Taking | Self-Confidence | Self-Esteem | Speaking | Spirituality | Trust | Video |
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Believing Your Own “True Lies” - Thoughts on the Schwarzenegger Scandal

 May 21, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I love Arnold Schwarzenegger. He has inspired me so much over the years - someone who has overcome the odds, dreamed big and accomplished so much. I am disappointed in the news, but not surprised. To me, this represents a larger than life projection of the ego and symbolizes the illusion of grandiosity in our culture. I find it actually hopeful that it is all coming crumbling down.

Rather than judge him or anyone, I can simply say a prayer of gratitude “there but for the grace of God go I.” All my “big dreams” and grandiose thinking was all ego and if I had ever got what I really thought I was supposed to get, I might actually find myself in the same place believing my own “True Lies” and thinking that my larger than life persona was who I really am.

Whenever our sense of self comes from the things of this world; fame, celebrity, money, success, prestige, we can develop a false sense of security that will one day crumble. The only thing that is everlasting is love and the only way to detach from the things of this world and find that love within is through forgiveness.

We need to forgive the thoughts that keep us separate from our connection to God and one another. We need to forgive and show compassion to those who believed their own lies. Thank you Arnold, for reminding me that the ego is simply an illusion. We all at one time or another get caught and stuck in the lies we tell ourselves. We believe we actually are the persona we’ve created. I’m grateful to be on a spiritual path and to awaken to the truth of who I really am.

“I prayed to God when my world was shaken to the core… only to find out, it was God who was doing the shaking!”



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Posted in A Course in Miracles | Character Development | Parents | Self-Confidence | Self-Esteem | Trust |
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Scared or Sacred?

 April 20, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

While in the early stages of creating my mother/daughter workshop, I was brainstorming titles and came up with Mothers and Daughters: Building the Sacred Connection. I realized that even though I sort of knew what the word “sacred” meant, I wanted to be sure that this was the right word to describe the essence of this workshop - so I looked it up.

sacred |ˈsākrid|
adjective
connected with God

To me, God is love. And that was exactly the energy that I wanted the mothers and daughters to feel and connect with.

Then it dawned on me - just how similar the words “sacred” and “scared” are. All you have to do is switch two letters and get a completely different meaning. So then I looked up the word “scared.”

scared |ske(ə)rd|
adjective
fearful; frightened

I felt like there was something really significant about this, but I needed more clarity. I stopped what I was doing and went into meditation to connect with the Source of all love and wisdom. All of a sudden it hit me and I grabbed my journal and this is what came through me;

a c - always connected

c a - completely alone

Just like those little grammar rules we learned in school, ” i before e - except after c “, I felt like I’d been given a completely new and simple rule to live by. Keep the “a” before the “c” and you will always be connected to the source of all love and power. Put the “c” before the “a” and you will believe that you are completely alone and have to do it all by yourself. Is it any wonder why we’re so afraid and filled with anxiety?

The good news is that we’ve all been blessed with the power of choice. In every moment we get to choose sacred or scared? The bad news is that many of us have been so conditioned to believe that we’re all alone and we have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. More good news… we are never alone and we are one with that Source of love. He never left us, but we must choose in every moment whether we’re going to resist or accept the truth. We are always connected - which makes every one of us sacred!



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Posted in A Course in Miracles | Mother/Daughter | Self-Confidence | Spirituality | Trust |
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Best. Email. Ever.

 April 20, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

I love my job! I get to travel and speak at schools and conferences all over the country. I get to inspire girls to find their power and voice and to dare to be their very best. It’s always new and never gets old. I am always willing to learn and grow right along with the girls. I’m so grateful that all of my own hard-earned experiences have become the very things that God used to be a blessing for others. I don’t need to look outside of myself for validation because the feeling of joy that I experience every time I step on stage and allow God to speak through me is a gift unto itself. But every now and then, I do receive that external validation and it is so amazing to know that what I have just shared has made a difference in the lives of others.

Last week I had the privilege of speaking to 5th grade girls and their moms for their annual Mother/Daughter Tea. This program is a Coming of Age initiative to help girls and their moms deal with their changing bodies and emotions. The response has been overwhelming. Below is the email that I received from one of the PTO Chairs who organized the event and who’s daughter was also in attendance. The video below that was taken immediately following the program and captures the reactions of the girls. Like I said, I love my job!! I hope you’ll consider bringing me in for your next mother/daughter event so that your girls and their moms can share in this powerful transformational program!

Kathleen, it’s taken me a couple of days to fully(?) process the wonderful transformational evening we experienced with you the other night…it really was MAGNIFICENT!!!  I do feel very blessed that you were able to facilitate such an inspirational program with the girls (and Moms) at our annual event!  My inbox is full of emails and my phone has not stopped since Thursday morning with people passing along kind words about the program you facilitated.  Every soccer, baseball, softball, dance practice I attend, someone has either heard about the evening, or was there and says how wonderful it was!  I believe that everyone who attended, felt inspired when they left that building!
Since I also work at the school, I had the unique opportunity to talk with the girls the next day and see what they were saying after having a night to think about it.  Everyone loved you, loved the program, and based on their comments I could tell that there was some aspect of the night that resonated with each of them.  I was overwhelmed at one point in the day when I saw a couple of the girls doing the hand gestures to Dream-Believe-Receive-Achieve at recess!  The teachers were all asking questions about the program as well, since the girls were so enthusiastic about how much they loved it!
I also had a mother say to me on Friday that she was thrilled to hear her daughter say that she really felt “good” about herself after leaving that night; especially since her daughter has been dealing with anxiety issues this year, and has been working with a therapist.  She said “Mom, Kathleen said a lot of the same things my therapist says…”  It really helped her to hear a similar message from another source - especially one who knows first hand that life can be hard - but you can deal with it.  Another Mom commented on how she liked that message the most as well - she said “I loved that Kathleen didn’t sugar-coat anything for the girls…telling them they will face hardships, but that they will be able to get through them” was refreshing.
On a personal note, I know that Emma loved it and was definitely walking out of the auditorium that night feeling"mah-velous!” especially with the renewed sense that she is capable of anything she sets her mind to.  It was late by the time we got home that night, and Emma was having a hard time winding down and falling asleep, so she jumped into bed with me and we were chatting about the night (another memory I will treasure from that night!).  One of the things that struck her the most was how positive you are, especially given the fact that you faced so many hardships at such a young age.  Thank-you for sharing your story, it really made an impact!
I’ll be sure to pass along any more comments I hear from parents/kids/teachers, but for now, all I can say is Thank-You, Thank-You, Thank-You!
We’ll be in touch soon!
Jenn

 

 

 



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Posted in Mother/Daughter | Self-Confidence | Self-Esteem | Teen Girls | Video |
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