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Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty - The Importance of a Daily Meditation Practice

July 24, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Years ago, I read a business book on networking by Harvey Mackay entitled “Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty.” It was about making contacts and relationships before you need them so that when you’re actually in the process of building a business, creating a new product, launching a global cause-related initiative, you have the support and resources already in place.

Recently, I experienced an entirely different understanding of “digging my well before I’m thirsty” as it relates to prayer and meditation and it came to me in the least likely place of being encased in the tunnel of an MRI machine.

I’d been having chronic pain and limited mobility in my shoulder. Although not debilitating, it was prohibiting me from fully participating and enjoying simple things like downward facing dog pose in yoga. Part of me wanted to just “suck it up” and push through it, but the responsible part of me wanted to make sure I hadn’t torn a tendon or ligament and damage it further by continuing to ignore it, so I went for the MRI.

I’ve never been claustrophobic, so I wasn’t overly concerned with being in the tunnel, but I was not prepared for the loud and strange noises once they shoved me inside that tube!! Thankfully, I have a daily meditation practice and immediately and intuitively knew how to use the sounds to take me deeper within and find that quiet and sacred place where nothing disturbs my serenity. It was over before I knew it and came out of there feeling like I just took a nap or had a massage!

So why was my MRI experience so vastly different from others who have been known to flip out inside that tunnel? Everyone has different reactions to the stressors in our lives. Stress is our bodies’ reaction to any external stimulation or change - and God knows, there is certainly more than enough external stimuli in our world to react to.

The Cost of Stress

It is our reaction to that stimuli that puts us into overwhelm, that keeps us stuck in the past with regret or jettisons us into the future with worry. Stress increases fight or flight reactions in our body that leads to ulcers, high blood pressure, skin and autoimmune disorders. Left unattended, it not only causes us physical damage, it affects our capacity to be in relationships, thrive in our careers and find deep contentment in life.

A Different Approach: Silencing the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee!

Just the term “stress management” infers that it is possible to manage and manipulate the external environment to help us feel less stress - which is not only an illusion but is totally “bass ackwards!” If you really want to manage stress, you need to go to the source - to the very cause of every effect you see - to your own thought system.

However, trying to think your way out of stress is like the proverbial blind leading the blind - you cannot heal your own mind with the same sick mind! So the best approach is to learn how to quiet your mind altogether and allow some space between you and your thoughts. We must learn how separate who we are from our thoughts and stop identifying ourselves by our thoughts.

Referred to by some as “the monkey mind” or by others as the hamster on the wheel that never stops spinning, or what I like to call the “itty bitty shitty committee,” we need to first become aware that it is there, and practice simply observing it and then detaching from those incessant mental gymnastics that exhaust us and keep us stuck in the loop of chronic stress and anxiety.

Mindfulness and Meditation - The Keys to Inner Peace

Jon Kabat-Zinn, a world renowned author, lecturer and founder of the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, teaches mindfulness meditation as a technique to help people cope with stress, anxiety, pain and illness. He describes meditation as if you are weaving a parachute. On day one you may have only woven a few strands together. But over time, it is the cumulative effect of consistent practice that eventually creates this parachute that will carry you safely through the challenges of life when you figuratively get kicked out of the plane and are free falling.

We all know what stress is, yet mindfulness is our innate capacity to be with whatever is happening in this moment. Mindfulness teaches us how to stay with our experience rather than run from it or suppress it. We learn by remaining present with our breath how to live life in the now and tap into the wisdom and natural healing capacity of our bodies.

Below is a guided meditation that I created to get you started in learning how to be in the miraculous power of the present. Do yourself a favor and start now! Don’t wait until life kicks you out of the plane to realize that you haven’t taken the time to weave your own parachute!! Dig your well BEFORE you’re thirsty and start TODAY!

Posted in Life Skills | Spirituality | Stress Management | Video |
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What If You Knew You Couldn’t Fail?

July 11, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Imagine if you knew in advance that you’d already won and that nothing you could do - or not do would change that. Imagine how different your approach to life would be. Your attitude and perspective would be so dramatically shifted from the way it is right now. You’d play more and worry less. You’d see challenges as opportunities to be creative. You would no longer be driven by the self-centered fear of not being good enough because you’d already know that you are enough.

Well, guess what? You’ve already won! You already are enough! For you were created in the image and likeness of God. Within you lies the changeless and eternal truth that you are one with your Creator. Our only purpose here is to awaken to the truth of that and let go of the illusion that we are anything less than the love and light of God. Our job is to allow God to fully manifest all that He is through us. We are already all that, we simply need to remember that and stop resisting and clinging to who we think we are.

Everything is Possible

Years ago I heard Benjamin Zander, Conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, Teacher at the New England Conservatory of Music and author of “The Art of Possibility” speak at a Toastmasters Convention. He shared a revolutionary approach to teaching music in that at the beginning of each semester, he gave all of his students an A and then had them imagine what they could do with music knowing they had already succeeded in the class.

When he first proposed this far-out concept, many of his foreign students just could not accept that they didn’t have to work hard to earn the A. Eventually, he got them all to see how the struggling to achieve actually blocked the flow of creativity and prohibited them from fully expressing and creating music from their divine source of power within. The results were astounding and since that time, his concept and miraculous approach to creating music became the book “The Art of Possibility” and has catapulted Zander onto the stage as an in-demand presenter at conferences all over the world.

I’m Not Lost… I’m Exploring

Jana Stanfield is a gifted singer, songwriter and inspirational speaker who travels the world giving her Keynote Concerts. I first met Jana over 15 years ago at my very first National Speakers Association Conference. We met in passing on the trade show floor and she handed me a bumper sticker that said “I’m not lost… I’m exploring” and it totally changed my perspective from that moment on. I realized that I was on a spiritual journey and that I wasn’t lost, that it was OK not to know and that it was safe to trust that I was being guided to my truth.

Now imagine how different your life would be if you knew that you weren’t lost and that you were being guided every step of the way. Try that on for size and see if you can feel your body letting go of some fear and struggle. You’ve already won. You’ve already got the A. So what would you explore today, knowing that you can’t get it wrong?

One of my all-time favorite Jana Stanfield songs is “If I Were Brave.” Recently Jana put out a request on FaceBook to submit pictures of a time when we were being really brave. I submitted a picture of me swinging through the air with the (not so) greatest of ease on the flying trapeze and Jana selected it to be in her music video!!

Here are some of the lyrics of the song. Take some time today and answer some of the questions she poses;

“If I Were Brave” - Jana Stanfield

What would I do, if I knew that I could not fail? 
If I believed, would the wind always fill up my sail? 
How far would I go? What could I achieve, 
trusting the hero in me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,
 where fools and dreamers dare to tread. 
I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.
 What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave? 
What would I do today, if I were brave?

What if we’re all meant to do what we secretly dream? 
What would you ask, if you knew you could have anything?
 Like the mighty oak sleeps, in the heart of a seed, 
are there miracles in you and me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge, 
where fools and dreamers dare to tread.
 I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way. 
What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?
 What would I do today, if I were brave?

If I refuse to listen to the voice of fear, 
would the voice of courage whisper in my ear?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge, 
where fools and dreamers dare to tread. 
I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way. 
What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave? 
What would I do today, if I were brave?

And now… Here is her music video starring me!! (watch the whole thing and be totally inspired… but just make sure you watch me at 3:54!)

You’ve already won & you cannot fail! Go for it!!

Best. Email. Ever.

April 20, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

I love my job! I get to travel and speak at schools and conferences all over the country. I get to inspire girls to find their power and voice and to dare to be their very best. It’s always new and never gets old. I am always willing to learn and grow right along with the girls. I’m so grateful that all of my own hard-earned experiences have become the very things that God used to be a blessing for others. I don’t need to look outside of myself for validation because the feeling of joy that I experience every time I step on stage and allow God to speak through me is a gift unto itself. But every now and then, I do receive that external validation and it is so amazing to know that what I have just shared has made a difference in the lives of others.

Last week I had the privilege of speaking to 5th grade girls and their moms for their annual Mother/Daughter Tea. This program is a Coming of Age initiative to help girls and their moms deal with their changing bodies and emotions. The response has been overwhelming. Below is the email that I received from one of the PTO Chairs who organized the event and who’s daughter was also in attendance. The video below that was taken immediately following the program and captures the reactions of the girls. Like I said, I love my job!! I hope you’ll consider bringing me in for your next mother/daughter event so that your girls and their moms can share in this powerful transformational program!

Kathleen, it’s taken me a couple of days to fully(?) process the wonderful transformational evening we experienced with you the other night…it really was MAGNIFICENT!!! I do feel very blessed that you were able to facilitate such an inspirational program with the girls (and Moms) at our annual event! My inbox is full of emails and my phone has not stopped since Thursday morning with people passing along kind words about the program you facilitated. Every soccer, baseball, softball, dance practice I attend, someone has either heard about the evening, or was there and says how wonderful it was! I believe that everyone who attended, felt inspired when they left that building!
Since I also work at the school, I had the unique opportunity to talk with the girls the next day and see what they were saying after having a night to think about it. Everyone loved you, loved the program, and based on their comments I could tell that there was some aspect of the night that resonated with each of them. I was overwhelmed at one point in the day when I saw a couple of the girls doing the hand gestures to Dream-Believe-Receive-Achieve at recess! The teachers were all asking questions about the program as well, since the girls were so enthusiastic about how much they loved it!
I also had a mother say to me on Friday that she was thrilled to hear her daughter say that she really felt “good” about herself after leaving that night; especially since her daughter has been dealing with anxiety issues this year, and has been working with a therapist. She said “Mom, Kathleen said a lot of the same things my therapist says…” It really helped her to hear a similar message from another source - especially one who knows first hand that life can be hard - but you can deal with it. Another Mom commented on how she liked that message the most as well - she said “I loved that Kathleen didn’t sugar-coat anything for the girls…telling them they will face hardships, but that they will be able to get through them” was refreshing.
On a personal note, I know that Emma loved it and was definitely walking out of the auditorium that night feeling"mah-velous!” especially with the renewed sense that she is capable of anything she sets her mind to. It was late by the time we got home that night, and Emma was having a hard time winding down and falling asleep, so she jumped into bed with me and we were chatting about the night (another memory I will treasure from that night!). One of the things that struck her the most was how positive you are, especially given the fact that you faced so many hardships at such a young age. Thank-you for sharing your story, it really made an impact!
I’ll be sure to pass along any more comments I hear from parents/kids/teachers, but for now, all I can say is Thank-You, Thank-You, Thank-You!
We’ll be in touch soon!
Jenn

Dr. Oz Agrees - Hypnosis for Weight Loss has Profound Powers

February 11, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Cabin fever, winter blues, constant cravings and comfort food. It’s that time of year when many of us are completely off track and get caught in a vicious cycle of self-sabotage. Whether you are overweight or simply carrying a few extra pounds of winter blubber, hypnosis can help you stop overeating, stop sabotaging yourself and lose weight.

On Monday, Dr. Oz had a show on Hypnosis for Weight Loss. The timing was perfect as this coming Sunday, February 13th, I am offering a 2 hour workshop called Body Love: Hypnosis for Weight Loss! Dr. Oz said that he first learned of the profound powers of hypnosis in medical school. He said “Hypnosis unlocks your subconscious power to control the demons that make you overeat.”

Dr. Paul McKenna, PhD and hypnotist was Dr. Oz’s guest and hypnotized the entire audience. He said “Craving is a learned behavior. If you’ve learned it, then you can unlearn it.”

Marianne Williamson, in her new book, “A Course in Weight Loss” says “Perhaps you’ve made amazing efforts to lose weight in the past… yet have found yourself unable to keep the weight off permanently.” She explains that the “extraordinary diet plans and superhuman feats of exercise” serve only to change your conscious thinking. “Unless your subconscious mind is enrolled in your weight-loss efforts, it will find a way to reconstitute the excess weight regardless of what you do.”

Hypnosis works because it is a process of concentration and relaxation which helps us go deeper, below the conscious level of thought and into the subconscious level, where all change originates. When we try and lose weight from the conscious level, we use all kinds of motivational strategies such as reward and punishment which only engender fear and even if you manage to lose weight by this method, the results are short lived and the weight typically comes back.

If you’re stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage, locked in a habit of reaching for the wrong food at the wrong time or are just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, I hope you’ll join me for Body Love: Hypnosis for Weight Loss.

To register or learn more:

Dreams Can Come True

March 10, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

When we were little, everything was possible and no dream was out of reach. We were literally playing make-believe and planting a strong and powerful belief in the rich and fertile soil of our minds. Under the right conditions, those dreams can root, grow and blossom into fruition. Yet so often in life, the dreams we had as little girls get crushed, buried or simply fade away.

With today’s technology and with social networking mediums like Facebook and YouTube, many people are using them as powerful platforms to successfully launch their dreams out into the world. Others seem to just magically get discovered through these channels because of the viral nature of this technology.

Imagine being three years old and having your fantasy dream come true? Here is an amazing story that unfolded as a result of YouTube.

I stumbled upon this story last week quite by chance. I recorded the show “Jimmy Kimmel Live” because my all time favorite band, Hall and Oates was supposed to be on it. Sadly their base guitarist, T-Bone passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack and they cancelled their appearance. I watched the whole show anyways hoping for a mention of the band and how they were all doing, but there was no announcement.

When I first saw the clip, I thought it was so adorable and so cool of Jimmy Kimmel to arrange to make that little girl’s dream come true. But ever since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the story and it has left me wondering…

In the clip, Jimmy mentions that this is as good as it’s going to get for this girl and her dreams. She disagreed and said “No it’s not.” I love how she believes in her life getting better and better, but I can’t help but wonder if she is going to go through a major let down phase following an event of this magnitude at the age of three?
Why would a mother video tape her three year old having a melt down and then post it to YouTube?
If that kind of whining gets that kind of attention and positive reaction, doesn’t it just reinforce the notion that “she who whines the most gets the prize?”

We live in a world that values fame and everyone is looking for their own fifteen minutes of it. But that kind of power rush is short lived and will never sustain our sense of purpose or unleash our innate potential. As cool as that opportunity was for little Cody and her family, I am more interested in the dreams of those who are striving to make a difference in this world and of those who work tirelessly in pursuit of those dreams.

Sometimes those of us with big, unrealized dreams can become discouraged when it seems like others are out there, going viral and getting “discovered.”

Here are some ways to unearth, rediscover and live your dreams;

Think back to when you were little. What did you love to do? When I was three, I starred in a neighborhood garage show. My dad’s workbench was the stage and I raised $5.00 and donated it to a local hospital. i was born to inspire and entertain others, but my dreams got buried when suddenly my dad died when I was ten and then my mother died when I was sixteen. It has been a long journey to rediscover those dreams, but I know now that they never really die and they can be reborn.
Ask yourself, if money was no object and you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you love to do? Jot down whatever thoughts or ideas come to you and explore the possibilities without any constraints.
Play make believe. When we were little we believed anything was possible. Spend some time day dreaming and dive into that wild mind of yours and have some fun imagining some what-ifs.
Sift through all of the challenges and use it all as contrast to help you get clear about what you really want. If you stay focused on the problem, you’ll keep getting more of the same right back at you.

If you need a little help in sorting through it all and figuring out what you want to be when you grow up, then give me a call or email me to find out more about coaching and receive a free 20 minute coaching call.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and reactions about the YouTube video!

Getting a Boyfriend – Even if You’re Shy

September 13, 2008 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

This video is a response to an email I received from a young woman named Jennifer. Jennifer is 21 and feels like there is something wrong with her because she’s never had a boyfriend. Her self-esteem and self-confidence is at an all time low and she’s afraid it’s her fault because she’s shy. She ask, “How can I be OK with who I am and not care what other people think about me?”

In this video, I help Jennifer understand that her beliefs are creating her reality. A belief is just a thought that we’ve played over and over again in our minds and accepted it as our truth. What you think about you attract. And if you think that it’s not OK to be quiet and shy and that there is something wrong with you, then you’ll only attract more situations that make you feel inferior for being who you are. When you learn how to love and accept yourself just the way that you are, in that place of pure love there’s no room for fear.

Posted in Coaching | Self-Confidence | Self-Esteem | Video |
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Calling All Girls: Help Me Write My Book

August 7, 2008 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Hey Girls… I’m writing a book for teen girls called “Loving the Girl in the Mirror: Reflections of Your True Self” and I NEED YOUR HELP!

I could very easily write this book based on my own “self” and how I transformed my life from troubled teen to teen mentor, but I want this book to be about YOU. What are the greatest challenges you face growing up female in today’s image-obsessed world?

If you had a magic wand and could wave it over a book and then that book would have the answers you need to help you – what would that book be about?

Do me a favor and watch this video and then forward it on to every girl you know. Together we can and will change the world. Imagine a world full of girls who knew how to love themselves and find their true power from the inside out. Imagine a world where girls felt comfortable in their own skin and knew how to rise above all the drama. Imagine a book that we write together that can be the very thing that changes the world. That is my dream and I need YOU!

Posted in Self-Esteem | Video |
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Teen Girls: Claiming Your Place & Power in the World

July 28, 2008 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Hey Girls… in the archives of this blog, there’s an article I wrote about how to create your own Sacred Space or meditation area/room. Well, now that I’ve gone high tech and have become a You Tuber, I created a video and give you a glimpse of my own Sacred Space.

In this crazy world of BIGGER, BETTER, FASTER, MORE it can be very challenging to sit still and listen to your own inner truth. You may be tempted to just say “Screw it” and take short cuts or do what everybody else says you “should” do. But when you take the time to create an actual place where you’ve carved out to be still and listen, and then go there often and just sit and listen, you’ll eventually get really good at trusting your gut and you’ll intuitively know how to be and what to do in any situation.

Posted in Self-Esteem | Teen Girls | Video |
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My Favorite F-Word

July 28, 2008 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

This video is an entry into a More Magazine Contest about your favorite F-Word! Jamie Lee Curtis proposed this contest to More Mag and there is an entire feature article about her in the June issue. In her More Magazine article, the author delved deep and asked Jamie Lee to explain her deep transformation and how she got to where she is at 50. Jamie Lee’s response? “Sobriety. It’s the single most important thing I’ve ever done.” That has to be one of the most courageous things I have ever read. Jamie Lee is such an inspiration and I am so excited about sharing my Favorite F-Word and the secret to a life of serenity and pure joy…

Posted in Self-Esteem | Video |
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Teen Girls: Body Image & Self-Confidence

July 20, 2008 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

This video is a response to a girl named Ashley who is 19.

Ashley wrote:

Dear Kathleen,

I have always taken pride on my amount of confidence compared to other people. But I noticed lately that I’ve been gaining a lot of weight and now I feel unsure of myself. How do a I get out of it?

View my response to Ashley and learn a powerful tool called a Vision Board that will help you attract what you want.

Posted in Body Image | Self-Confidence | Teen Girls | Video |
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