Links

Friend me on Facebook!
Follow me on Twitter!
Network with me on LinkedIn!
The Teen Confidence Coach - Director of Channel on YouTube!

Monthly Archives

Being Different Can Be A Blessing - The True Story of Rudolph

December 24, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night.

His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bob’s wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer Little Barbara couldn’t understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad’s eyes and asked, “Why isn’t Mommy just like everybody else’s Mommy?” Bob’s jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob’s life. Life always had to be different for Bob.

Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he’d rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn’s bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938.

Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn’t even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn’t buy a gift, he was determined to make one - a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and told the animal’s story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling. Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn’t end there.

The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book. Wards went on to print, Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book.

In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter. But the story doesn’t end there either.

Bob’s brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore, it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of White Christmas.

The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn’t so bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.

Happy Holidays! Celebrate who you are and give the world the gift of YOU!

** note ** I did not write this story, it was sent to me from a friend in an email and I just had to share it with you!

Stay Where You Are - So I Can Feel Safe

December 20, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

There’s a certain sense of security and camaraderie in the struggle of life. But what happens when someone decides to let go of the struggle and step into the joy and flow of life? Do people like you better when you play it safe and play the victim of circumstances?

When someone decides to step out of the role they’ve been playing and makes a bold move towards change, you’d think that everyone would stand up and cheer! But more often then not, people try to put you back where they think you belong so they can feel safe. Misery loves company is an expression that, although few of us would admit, really does make us feel a little bit better about our own lives if someone else is struggling right along with us.

The Mobile Effect

Imagine everyone in your family and all of your closest friends are all hanging on a mobile. No matter how functional or dysfunctional each individual or family unit may be, each person keeps the entire structure in balance. But when one dares to take themselves off the hook and opts for something different - even if that something different is fabulous - everyone feels the shift and the whole unit is off kilter and out of whack.

The good news is that everyone will eventually find a new sense of balance. The bad news is that the time in between can sometimes send the bold adventurer, who disrupted the status quo, clambering back into old patterns and habits of people pleasing while putting themselves back on the hook!

I recently made such a bold move in my own life and am living out my wildest dreams! I relocated my life and business to Naples, Florida and I’m having the time of my life. I’ve been amazed, but not surprised by some of the comments I’ve received from family and friends:
- you bitch!
- must be nice
- we get it - you’re happy
- I’m ignoring your posts on Facebook - they’re way too positive
- how come your life is so serene and I can barely get through the day?

Sometimes I’ve found myself holding back so I don’t come off as bragging. Then I remember the quote by Marianne Williamson from her book “A Return to Love,” Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. Then I remember that I’ve been here before and that this too shall pass. I’ve been on a healing and spiritual journey for the last 20 years and I’ve had a lot of practice in letting go and trusting the guidance of God. I know that following that inner guidance is what truly serves the world and I’m willing to step into the unknown and light the way for others.

If the opinions of others have kept you stuck where you are, if you’ve been dreaming about making a change in your life - be it a bold, life-altering move, or a tiny shift in your daily habits or routines, one of the best ways to step confidently in the direction of your dreams is to create a strong support system around you.

Create a Strong Support System

Here are a few ways to get the support you need to make your move and make your mark on the world:

- Start a Mastermind Group. Gather up 4-6 people who are all ready to step boldly in the direction of their dreams. Commit to meet regularly to brainstorm ideas, encourage and cheer each other on and hold each other accountable for action items.

- Find a Goal Buddy. Establish a partnership and commitment with one person who shares similar goals as you, such as - getting in shape, writing a book, quitting smoking, etc.

- Join a 12-Step Recovery Group. It’s not only alcoholics who work the 12 steps. There are recovery groups for over-eaters, over-spenders, gamblers, sex-addicts and co-dependents. Join a group, go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the 12 steps.

- Hire a Coach! A coach is like a personal trainer for the mind and will help you gain clarity and focus to direct your thoughts towards your goals and away from what you don’t want.

The Only One Who Likes Change is a Wet Baby!

Change doesn’t have to be as hard or scary. The right support around you - to hold your hand and cheer you on - will remind you that you are safe and powerful.

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes!

Are you ready to take a baby step or a giant leap in the direction of your dreams? Maybe you’d like to…

=> start a business
=> find new love
=> get a new career (or a raise)
=> lose weight
=> get your child(ren) to behave better
=> or build your self-esteem & self-confidence

No matter what you’d like to change or achieve, the secrets to success are the same…

#1: Get clear. As specifically as possible, decide what you want. The more clear you are on what you want to have in your life, the more likely you are to achieve it.

#2: Get perspective. Most people don’t tell anyone what they want or what they are struggling with and because of that they don’t get an outside perspective.

#3: Get support. Very few people (if any) achieve anything great alone. Sports stars have teammates and coaches. Be willing to ask the people in your life to support you.

As my holiday gift to you, I am offering a substantial discount on a one hour Laser Coaching Session. Sessions typically cost $150, but by using the Discount Code GRACE during checkout, you’ll pay only $100—that’s a 33% savings! AND as an added bonus, if you decide to continue with ongoing monthly coaching, I will apply that $100 towards your first month of coaching!

In our coaching session we’ll work together to…  

=> Create a crystal clear vision for ‘ultimate success’ so you know exactly what you want, where you’re headed, and what you need to do to make it happen.
  => Uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your ability to make changes that last or that are slowing down your progress  
=> Leave this session renewed, re-energized, and inspired to finally achieve the change you seek- once and for all 

If you’re ready to make 2012 your best year yet… click here to purchase your Laser Coaching Session NOW!

Happy Holidays & Here’s to becoming Your Very Best YOU!

I’m not bragging… but here’s what living your dreams looks and feels like!!!

Wouldn’t It Be Cool: How to Effortlessly Manifest & Attract What You Want

July 27, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Six days a week, I set my alarm for the crack of dawn and attend a 7:00am meditation meeting. I’ve never been an early bird and yet this particular discipline that I have been developing and strengthening for the last six months or so has been nothing short of life-changing. Beginning my day grounded in silence, in union with other like-minded individuals, coming together to connect and improve our conscious contact with the God of our understanding sets the tone for the kind of day I want to have.

Every day when I come home from this gathering, I sit in my car and just observe the goings on in my yard. There is a chipmunk who sits on the wall in the exact same spot every morning, as if that is his little sacred space and the way he starts his day! Sometimes there are bunnies in the yard and always a variety of birds pecking away at the newly seeded grass my husband just planted!

The other day I pulled into my driveway and thought to myself Wouldn’t it be cool to see a mother deer with her baby deer. It was just a random thought, realizing that I hadn’t seen any deer in the yard yet this year. Last year I saw 5 or 6 of them quite frequently. I thought nothing more about it and just went on about my day.

At 2:30pm, I was on the phone with a coaching client. She was describing in detail her frustration about something that had not yet manifested in her life and I was doing my best to teach her about vibration and how the Universe answers us according to our dominant thoughts and vibrational offerings. In other words, if you’re focused on the fact that your desire has not shown up yet - that is what your thoughts create - more of the same results and you will continue to attract that same effect so long as you continue to focus on the lack of whatever it is that you’ve been wanting.

All of a sudden, I glanced out the window and there in my yard was a mother deer and her baby. I gasped and nearly fell off my chair and my poor client wasn’t sure what the heck was happening to me! I grabbed my camera and tried to capture this amazing moment, but only managed to snap a picture of the mother deer’s ass as she scampered off into the woods! Alas, I googled this shot and cannot take the credit for this (but swear it looked exactly the way I saw them in my yard!!)

God’s divine timing was absolute perfection. I could not have come up with a better example to explain the power of our thoughts had I searched every self-help book and googled every website for how this stuff works!

This is how it works!

Thoughts become things!! Like cell phone waves that magically and wirelessly transmit text messages to your phone - your thoughts create vibrations that get transmitted out into the Universe and that which is likened unto itself is drawn. However, our thoughts are filtered through our habits, beliefs and judgments about those thoughts. So even if you’re thinking about a particular goal and oftentimes to the point of obsessing over that wish, dream or desire, you are probably vibrating more towards the lack of it than you are the having of it.

The Universe is perfect and will deliver unto you exactly what you’re asking for - wanted or not! The reason that I am finally understanding this myself is because the more I quiet my mind with this daily practice of meditation, the more I align my thoughts with the energy of love, peace and the power of God, the more I effortlessly attract more of the same back to me! And that’s how it works - every single time - without exception.

The reason those deer showed up in my yard was because my thoughts and vibration held no ulterior motive or judgment about what it would mean to have a deer with her baby show up in my yard. I just thought it would be cool to see that and VOILA!! the Universe responded.

There is no level of complexity or difficulty for God or the Universe to deliver unto you whatever it is you desire - it is your belief or judgment about the difficulty or your worthiness about receiving it is what blocks the manifestation.

Lots of people struggle with the notion of doing God’s will and think that means that they will have to abandon their goals and dreams to live a life of indentured servitude. I have come to believe and intuitively know and trust that God’s will for me is pure joy. When I hold onto the belief that when I publish the book, make a million dollars, lose the weight… (fill in the blank with your own blah, blah, blah), then I’ll be happy - I am actually sending out a vibration of forever striving - and that is exactly what will keep showing up in my life. When I let go of how I think that joy is supposed to come to me and allow myself to be fully present in the moment - I am always surprised and joyful in how simple it is to co-create a life I love.

Take Action Challenge:

The next time you have a desire, try detaching from the outcome, stop obsessing about how you’re gonna get it and just focus on the joy it will bring you to have it. Try saying “Wouldn’t it be cool to…” and just get in the feel good feelings of how much fun it will be to see that in your life. That is the energy of everyday miracles and that is exactly how you effortlessly manifest the life of your dreams!

Posted in Law of Attraction | Personal Power | Spirituality | Trust |
Comments (0)

What If You Knew You Couldn’t Fail?

July 11, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Imagine if you knew in advance that you’d already won and that nothing you could do - or not do would change that. Imagine how different your approach to life would be. Your attitude and perspective would be so dramatically shifted from the way it is right now. You’d play more and worry less. You’d see challenges as opportunities to be creative. You would no longer be driven by the self-centered fear of not being good enough because you’d already know that you are enough.

Well, guess what? You’ve already won! You already are enough! For you were created in the image and likeness of God. Within you lies the changeless and eternal truth that you are one with your Creator. Our only purpose here is to awaken to the truth of that and let go of the illusion that we are anything less than the love and light of God. Our job is to allow God to fully manifest all that He is through us. We are already all that, we simply need to remember that and stop resisting and clinging to who we think we are.

Everything is Possible

Years ago I heard Benjamin Zander, Conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, Teacher at the New England Conservatory of Music and author of “The Art of Possibility” speak at a Toastmasters Convention. He shared a revolutionary approach to teaching music in that at the beginning of each semester, he gave all of his students an A and then had them imagine what they could do with music knowing they had already succeeded in the class.

When he first proposed this far-out concept, many of his foreign students just could not accept that they didn’t have to work hard to earn the A. Eventually, he got them all to see how the struggling to achieve actually blocked the flow of creativity and prohibited them from fully expressing and creating music from their divine source of power within. The results were astounding and since that time, his concept and miraculous approach to creating music became the book “The Art of Possibility” and has catapulted Zander onto the stage as an in-demand presenter at conferences all over the world.

I’m Not Lost… I’m Exploring

Jana Stanfield is a gifted singer, songwriter and inspirational speaker who travels the world giving her Keynote Concerts. I first met Jana over 15 years ago at my very first National Speakers Association Conference. We met in passing on the trade show floor and she handed me a bumper sticker that said “I’m not lost… I’m exploring” and it totally changed my perspective from that moment on. I realized that I was on a spiritual journey and that I wasn’t lost, that it was OK not to know and that it was safe to trust that I was being guided to my truth.

Now imagine how different your life would be if you knew that you weren’t lost and that you were being guided every step of the way. Try that on for size and see if you can feel your body letting go of some fear and struggle. You’ve already won. You’ve already got the A. So what would you explore today, knowing that you can’t get it wrong?

One of my all-time favorite Jana Stanfield songs is “If I Were Brave.” Recently Jana put out a request on FaceBook to submit pictures of a time when we were being really brave. I submitted a picture of me swinging through the air with the (not so) greatest of ease on the flying trapeze and Jana selected it to be in her music video!!

Here are some of the lyrics of the song. Take some time today and answer some of the questions she poses;

“If I Were Brave” - Jana Stanfield

What would I do, if I knew that I could not fail? 
If I believed, would the wind always fill up my sail? 
How far would I go? What could I achieve, 
trusting the hero in me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,
 where fools and dreamers dare to tread. 
I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.
 What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave? 
What would I do today, if I were brave?

What if we’re all meant to do what we secretly dream? 
What would you ask, if you knew you could have anything?
 Like the mighty oak sleeps, in the heart of a seed, 
are there miracles in you and me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge, 
where fools and dreamers dare to tread.
 I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way. 
What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?
 What would I do today, if I were brave?

If I refuse to listen to the voice of fear, 
would the voice of courage whisper in my ear?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge, 
where fools and dreamers dare to tread. 
I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way. 
What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave? 
What would I do today, if I were brave?

And now… Here is her music video starring me!! (watch the whole thing and be totally inspired… but just make sure you watch me at 3:54!)

You’ve already won & you cannot fail! Go for it!!

Believing Your Own “True Lies” - Thoughts on the Schwarzenegger Scandal

May 21, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I love Arnold Schwarzenegger. He has inspired me so much over the years - someone who has overcome the odds, dreamed big and accomplished so much. I am disappointed in the news, but not surprised. To me, this represents a larger than life projection of the ego and symbolizes the illusion of grandiosity in our culture. I find it actually hopeful that it is all coming crumbling down.

Rather than judge him or anyone, I can simply say a prayer of gratitude “there but for the grace of God go I.” All my “big dreams” and grandiose thinking was all ego and if I had ever got what I really thought I was supposed to get, I might actually find myself in the same place believing my own “True Lies” and thinking that my larger than life persona was who I really am.

Whenever our sense of self comes from the things of this world; fame, celebrity, money, success, prestige, we can develop a false sense of security that will one day crumble. The only thing that is everlasting is love and the only way to detach from the things of this world and find that love within is through forgiveness.

We need to forgive the thoughts that keep us separate from our connection to God and one another. We need to forgive and show compassion to those who believed their own lies. Thank you Arnold, for reminding me that the ego is simply an illusion. We all at one time or another get caught and stuck in the lies we tell ourselves. We believe we actually are the persona we’ve created. I’m grateful to be on a spiritual path and to awaken to the truth of who I really am.

“I prayed to God when my world was shaken to the core… only to find out, it was God who was doing the shaking!”

Scared or Sacred?

April 20, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

While in the early stages of creating my mother/daughter workshop, I was brainstorming titles and came up with Mothers and Daughters: Building the Sacred Connection. I realized that even though I sort of knew what the word “sacred” meant, I wanted to be sure that this was the right word to describe the essence of this workshop - so I looked it up.

sacred |ˈsākrid|
adjective
connected with God

To me, God is love. And that was exactly the energy that I wanted the mothers and daughters to feel and connect with.

Then it dawned on me - just how similar the words “sacred” and “scared” are. All you have to do is switch two letters and get a completely different meaning. So then I looked up the word “scared.”

scared |ske(ə)rd|
adjective
fearful; frightened

I felt like there was something really significant about this, but I needed more clarity. I stopped what I was doing and went into meditation to connect with the Source of all love and wisdom. All of a sudden it hit me and I grabbed my journal and this is what came through me;

a c - always connected

c a - completely alone

Just like those little grammar rules we learned in school, ” i before e - except after c “, I felt like I’d been given a completely new and simple rule to live by. Keep the “a” before the “c” and you will always be connected to the source of all love and power. Put the “c” before the “a” and you will believe that you are completely alone and have to do it all by yourself. Is it any wonder why we’re so afraid and filled with anxiety?

The good news is that we’ve all been blessed with the power of choice. In every moment we get to choose sacred or scared? The bad news is that many of us have been so conditioned to believe that we’re all alone and we have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. More good news… we are never alone and we are one with that Source of love. He never left us, but we must choose in every moment whether we’re going to resist or accept the truth. We are always connected - which makes every one of us sacred!

Weighing In on HUGE

August 16, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Have you seen ABC Family’s latest summer blockbuster, HUGE? It’s the story of a group of teens at a weight loss camp, otherwise known as fat camp. When I first heard about it, I was intrigued, skeptical and disgusted all at the same time. Another show focusing on what is wrong with teens today and yet another blatant example of the media exploiting social issues to their advantage. Due to a regular Monday night commitment, I haven’t been home to watch it, but as I said, I was intrigued, so I had been taping it. Last week I sat down to a HUGE marathon and have to say, not only was I pleasantly surprised, I actually loved it.

HUGE is well written and the characters are engaging, interesting and so lovable - even though none of them would ever claim that to be true. There are so many layers to the premise of this show. Yes, it’s about body image and all that goes with that, but it is about so much more; relationships, mother/daughter dynamics, friendships, fitting in, brothers and sisters, fathers and daughters, addictions and 12 step recovery, surrender, spirituality, self-esteem, confidence, families, resentments, forgiveness, prayer, religion, affirmations, gratitude, divine guidance, sports, teamwork, leadership, trust and learning to speak the truth.

The ramifications of such a powerful show are, dare I say, HUGE! I can’t say that I’ve laughed out loud, but I have cried and have identified with so many of the raw emotions that these characters are dealing with. The main character, Will is played by Nikki Blonsky and she is so full of anger, resentment and resistance to change. She is afraid that if she gives in, she will be succumbing to society’s expectations of who she should be. She is caught between the message of self-acceptance and trying to swallow the implications of what that means in an environment that is forcing you to shrink to an acceptable size.

Jess Weiner, Global Ambassador for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund and teen girl advocate has been blogging about HUGE before it even aired and has created a weekly Conversation Guide for each episode. As a Hollywood insider and a voice for change, Jess has interviewed the creators and all the cast members. The writers, Savanah Dooley and Winnie Holzman along with Nikki Blonsky all said that they hope this series becomes more than a show about body image and that people will really resonate with the characters. I’d say that their focused intention has made manifest and together they have created a powerful vehicle for compassion and change. Just like The Cosby Show initially began as a show about a black family, or Will and Grace started out as a show about being gay, both of them became so much more and gave us the opportunity to see past the initial label. HUGE has the potential to be way more than just a show about overweight kids.

As a teen girl advocate myself, self-esteem and empowerment has been the theme of my work for the last fifteen years as well as the focus of my own healing journey for my entire life. I’m not working to fix anyone, but rather to help young women look within for their power, voice and truth. At first glance, HUGE may appear to be just another show about fixing what’s wrong with teens today, but after watching my HUGE marathon I am excited and filled with so much hope. Finally something good on TV that just might actually make a difference.

Definitely check out HUGE on Monday nights on ABC Family and also check out all the other cool interviews on Jess’s blog. The latest is with Ari Stidham, the guy who plays Ian. His advice to any girl that has an issue with her body? “Confidence. Love yourself because you’re a human being. Don’t love yourself because you look a certain way. Love yourself because you were put on this Earth for a reason. And um, that’s attractive.” OMG Ari, I couldn’t have said it better if I tried!!!

Dreams Can Come True

March 10, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

When we were little, everything was possible and no dream was out of reach. We were literally playing make-believe and planting a strong and powerful belief in the rich and fertile soil of our minds. Under the right conditions, those dreams can root, grow and blossom into fruition. Yet so often in life, the dreams we had as little girls get crushed, buried or simply fade away.

With today’s technology and with social networking mediums like Facebook and YouTube, many people are using them as powerful platforms to successfully launch their dreams out into the world. Others seem to just magically get discovered through these channels because of the viral nature of this technology.

Imagine being three years old and having your fantasy dream come true? Here is an amazing story that unfolded as a result of YouTube.

I stumbled upon this story last week quite by chance. I recorded the show “Jimmy Kimmel Live” because my all time favorite band, Hall and Oates was supposed to be on it. Sadly their base guitarist, T-Bone passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack and they cancelled their appearance. I watched the whole show anyways hoping for a mention of the band and how they were all doing, but there was no announcement.

When I first saw the clip, I thought it was so adorable and so cool of Jimmy Kimmel to arrange to make that little girl’s dream come true. But ever since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the story and it has left me wondering…

In the clip, Jimmy mentions that this is as good as it’s going to get for this girl and her dreams. She disagreed and said “No it’s not.” I love how she believes in her life getting better and better, but I can’t help but wonder if she is going to go through a major let down phase following an event of this magnitude at the age of three?
Why would a mother video tape her three year old having a melt down and then post it to YouTube?
If that kind of whining gets that kind of attention and positive reaction, doesn’t it just reinforce the notion that “she who whines the most gets the prize?”

We live in a world that values fame and everyone is looking for their own fifteen minutes of it. But that kind of power rush is short lived and will never sustain our sense of purpose or unleash our innate potential. As cool as that opportunity was for little Cody and her family, I am more interested in the dreams of those who are striving to make a difference in this world and of those who work tirelessly in pursuit of those dreams.

Sometimes those of us with big, unrealized dreams can become discouraged when it seems like others are out there, going viral and getting “discovered.”

Here are some ways to unearth, rediscover and live your dreams;

Think back to when you were little. What did you love to do? When I was three, I starred in a neighborhood garage show. My dad’s workbench was the stage and I raised $5.00 and donated it to a local hospital. i was born to inspire and entertain others, but my dreams got buried when suddenly my dad died when I was ten and then my mother died when I was sixteen. It has been a long journey to rediscover those dreams, but I know now that they never really die and they can be reborn.
Ask yourself, if money was no object and you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you love to do? Jot down whatever thoughts or ideas come to you and explore the possibilities without any constraints.
Play make believe. When we were little we believed anything was possible. Spend some time day dreaming and dive into that wild mind of yours and have some fun imagining some what-ifs.
Sift through all of the challenges and use it all as contrast to help you get clear about what you really want. If you stay focused on the problem, you’ll keep getting more of the same right back at you.

If you need a little help in sorting through it all and figuring out what you want to be when you grow up, then give me a call or email me to find out more about coaching and receive a free 20 minute coaching call.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and reactions about the YouTube video!

Girls and Guidance

February 8, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

A week doesn’t go by without receiving an email (or several) from girls desperately looking for guidance. The details of their stories may differ, but the essence of each request is exactly the same: “Please help!” Help me figure out if I should tell this guy how I feel… Help me learn how to be more confident around other people… Help me figure out what my next step should be… Help me get along better with my mom.

There was a time when I would personally answer each request and offer suggestions about how they might move through their challenge. This could easily have turned into a full time job if I let it, so I decided to reach more girls who might be going through the very same challenges by posting my responses on my blog or by creating videos on YouTube. Not only would I be helping more girls, but I was also setting gentle boundaries for myself so that I didn’t feel so obligated to personally respond to every single cry for help.

As much as I love hearing from these girls, what I love even more is to empower and teach them how to turn inward and trust their own inner guidance for their next right step or direction so they won’t have to keep looking outside of themselves for their answers. It reminds me of the Chinese proverb, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

Call it intuition, divine guidance, an inner voice or simply a quiet knowing, each of us has the ability to access a source of wisdom that will lead us to the next right step. Learning how to access it and then trust it is something that requires both practice and patience.

Here are some steps you can take to begin to make that connection and tap into your own inner guidance.

Develop a daily practice of sitting still and quieting your mind.

Carve out five to ten minutes each day to just be. Make this time sacred by lighting a candle, listening to soft music and focusing on your breathing. You may not notice any immediate answers or see any dramatic changes at first. After you’ve been practicing and developing this habit for awhile, it will begin to have a cumulative effect and you will start to notice a clarity of mind and your answers will come to you as a hunch or in a flash of inspiration. An additional step to making this practice stick is to actually have an uncluttered sacred space to practice your daily ritual.

Get in the habit of writing in a diary or journal either every morning or evening.

In Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way,” she recommends writing morning pages to get the creative juices flowing. She asks you to commit to writing 3 pages each day. In the beginning you may just be writing things like “how the heck am I going to fill up three whole pages?”, but eventually the words will begin to flow. Once you get the hang of it, you can write out a question and then like magic, guidance will spill out onto the page.

Ask for divine guidance.

Develop a relationship with your own concept of a higher power and then have a conversation and ask for help. Many christians live their lives and receive their next right step by asking WWJD? or What Would Jesus Do? If you were brought up in a different faith you can simply ask the question, “What would love do?” To me that means the very same thing because I believe that God is love and when you align your actions with love, then you can never go wrong and your answer will come from the ultimate authority and source of all truth.

Here are a few important reminders as well as the benefits to receiving guidance:

Don’t try to solve big problems all at once.

All you need to do is look for the next right step and then take action on that guidance. It’s like driving in the dark with only your headlights to light your way. You can’t see the final destination, and yet you get there by seeing only the next 200 feet in front of you.

Pay attention to the signals your body is sending you.

We each have our own built-in GPS system that lets us know when we’re off course. If something doesn’t feel right to you, then it probably isn’t the right choice for you.

You have to stay alert when you’re seeking guidance.

It will show up in all sorts of ways and you could miss it if you’re not noticing the signs along the way. One of the benefits of practicing the suggestions mentioned above is that you develop what is known as mindfulness as you become fully engaged and take an active role in the creation of a fabulous life instead of letting life happen to you.

Adolescence is about learning to take responsibility (response ability). In other words, developing the ability to respond to whatever happens and to deal with it by making your own decisions. Probably the biggest payoff to developing your own internal guidance system is that along the way, you start to strengthen your own inner trust muscles and the result is self-confidence. An added bonus to that is when you start to trust yourself then others begin to trust you too. How cool would it be if instead of complaining that your parents don’t trust you to make good decisions, you could effortlessly gain their trust by practicing these few simple steps.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with asking for advice. But never take that advice without first running it through your own internal guidance system to make sure it’s the next right step for you.

There are lots of free downloads available on my site to help you connect to your own guidance, as well as some cd’s and mp3’s you can purchase that will also help you learn how to harness the power of your mind to create a life you love!

NOTE: In my next blog post, I’ll be delving deeper into the topic of divine guidance and angelic assistance. One girl recently asked me how she could connect to her “angles and sprite guides.” Spelling, structure and grammar aside, I was thrilled that she wanted to learn more about her “angels and spirit guides” in an effort to connect to her own inner wisdom and truth.

Teen Girl With the Weight of the World on Her Shoulders

April 9, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

A Response to Jayleene

what can you do when the world’s weight is on your sholders? i feel like i might just break down completely…and then end up Back in Rehab..but instead of outpatient in will be Inpatient…my problem is something that you spoke about when you came to my school..thou it’s not somthing you talked alot about..i guess it’s hard for people to understand what i do..and i don’t feel like saying cause i get judged. or called crazy. so whatever. but i guess i just need help..i need to know what to do so i can help myself..to stop my hurting.

Hi Jayleene – thank you so much for reaching out to me. That is a HUGE accomplishment and it is like your soul is tugging on your sleeve trying to get your attention to wake up and discover your true power.

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing to yourself – drugs, sex, cutting, drinking… whatever. They are all ways that we try to numb our feelings and escape the effects of low self-esteem. The reason your feelings are so heavy and you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders is because your strategy for trying to control things just isn’t working and you’re trying to change things externally instead of looking within to change the only thing that you can control – your thoughts.

What you think about becomes your reality and you attract back whatever you focus on the most. Learning to control your thoughts and harness the power of your mind can be challenging if you’ve always given in to lazy thoughts or bought into society’s standards about who you “should” be and you haven’t been able to truly know who you are.

The very first thing you need to do is to just breathe. Take a couple of deep, cleansing breaths and just imagine yourself breathing out all of the stress and pain that you’ve been carrying around for so long. Just that simple act can quiet down your mind and help you to feel less stressed and out of control.

From your email, I can see that you’re focused on feeling crummy and insecure and in pain. It will take some effort to shift your thoughts, but try making a list of things that you’re thankful for. It may sound dorky, but it can really help you learn how to train your mind to look for the good instead of the bad. It’s like sending your brain to the gym… you need to give it a good workout.

Then start saying positive things to yourself like:

I am enough

I am good enough

I am a child of God

I have a right to be here

I am loveable

I have a right to love and be loved

Who I am makes a difference

Even if you don’t believe them at first, your soul will recognize it as the truth. Your ego has been running the show and the ego runs on fear. In every moment we have the choice to see the world through the eyes of fear or love. The more you practice this kind of self-talk, the more you develop self-love. Over time it becomes a habit and eventually forms new beliefs within us. That is the way to build up your own self-esteem. Nobody can do it for you, but you have to believe that you are worthy and deserving of a happy life – and you are, simply because you are the beloved child of God.

I would love to coach you to help you shift your thoughts to what you want instead of what you don’t want. But you’d have to talk to your mom or dad about hiring me as your life coach. More and more girls are discovering their power and reaching out and asking for help. The sad thing is that most parents immediately think therapy… and although there are many benefits to therapy, therapy looks backwards and tries to figure out what’s wrong and coaching helps you look at everything as just contrast to help you get clear about what you want and what’s right and then helps you move towards that.

A great life is within your power. You are stronger than you can even believe. How do I know? I have been where you are. Maybe the circumstances are different, but the feelings are the same and I have turned my life around. I know firsthand that this is all possible. Your soul already knows the truth… and we’re here to remember and return to the source of our true power.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please try some of the suggestions I gave you. Nothing changes unless something changes – and the only thing you have the power to change is YOU.

There is only so much I can do in an email and I really hope you let someone know how much you’re hurting.

GIANT HUGS,

Kathleen

Recent Posts

Categories