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Weighing In on HUGE

August 16, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Have you seen ABC Family’s latest summer blockbuster, HUGE? It’s the story of a group of teens at a weight loss camp, otherwise known as fat camp. When I first heard about it, I was intrigued, skeptical and disgusted all at the same time. Another show focusing on what is wrong with teens today and yet another blatant example of the media exploiting social issues to their advantage. Due to a regular Monday night commitment, I haven’t been home to watch it, but as I said, I was intrigued, so I had been taping it. Last week I sat down to a HUGE marathon and have to say, not only was I pleasantly surprised, I actually loved it.

HUGE is well written and the characters are engaging, interesting and so lovable - even though none of them would ever claim that to be true. There are so many layers to the premise of this show. Yes, it’s about body image and all that goes with that, but it is about so much more; relationships, mother/daughter dynamics, friendships, fitting in, brothers and sisters, fathers and daughters, addictions and 12 step recovery, surrender, spirituality, self-esteem, confidence, families, resentments, forgiveness, prayer, religion, affirmations, gratitude, divine guidance, sports, teamwork, leadership, trust and learning to speak the truth.

The ramifications of such a powerful show are, dare I say, HUGE! I can’t say that I’ve laughed out loud, but I have cried and have identified with so many of the raw emotions that these characters are dealing with. The main character, Will is played by Nikki Blonsky and she is so full of anger, resentment and resistance to change. She is afraid that if she gives in, she will be succumbing to society’s expectations of who she should be. She is caught between the message of self-acceptance and trying to swallow the implications of what that means in an environment that is forcing you to shrink to an acceptable size.

Jess Weiner, Global Ambassador for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund and teen girl advocate has been blogging about HUGE before it even aired and has created a weekly Conversation Guide for each episode. As a Hollywood insider and a voice for change, Jess has interviewed the creators and all the cast members. The writers, Savanah Dooley and Winnie Holzman along with Nikki Blonsky all said that they hope this series becomes more than a show about body image and that people will really resonate with the characters. I’d say that their focused intention has made manifest and together they have created a powerful vehicle for compassion and change. Just like The Cosby Show initially began as a show about a black family, or Will and Grace started out as a show about being gay, both of them became so much more and gave us the opportunity to see past the initial label. HUGE has the potential to be way more than just a show about overweight kids.

As a teen girl advocate myself, self-esteem and empowerment has been the theme of my work for the last fifteen years as well as the focus of my own healing journey for my entire life. I’m not working to fix anyone, but rather to help young women look within for their power, voice and truth. At first glance, HUGE may appear to be just another show about fixing what’s wrong with teens today, but after watching my HUGE marathon I am excited and filled with so much hope. Finally something good on TV that just might actually make a difference.

Definitely check out HUGE on Monday nights on ABC Family and also check out all the other cool interviews on Jess’s blog. The latest is with Ari Stidham, the guy who plays Ian. His advice to any girl that has an issue with her body? “Confidence. Love yourself because you’re a human being. Don’t love yourself because you look a certain way. Love yourself because you were put on this Earth for a reason. And um, that’s attractive.” OMG Ari, I couldn’t have said it better if I tried!!!

Girls and Guidance

February 8, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

A week doesn’t go by without receiving an email (or several) from girls desperately looking for guidance. The details of their stories may differ, but the essence of each request is exactly the same: “Please help!” Help me figure out if I should tell this guy how I feel… Help me learn how to be more confident around other people… Help me figure out what my next step should be… Help me get along better with my mom.

There was a time when I would personally answer each request and offer suggestions about how they might move through their challenge. This could easily have turned into a full time job if I let it, so I decided to reach more girls who might be going through the very same challenges by posting my responses on my blog or by creating videos on YouTube. Not only would I be helping more girls, but I was also setting gentle boundaries for myself so that I didn’t feel so obligated to personally respond to every single cry for help.

As much as I love hearing from these girls, what I love even more is to empower and teach them how to turn inward and trust their own inner guidance for their next right step or direction so they won’t have to keep looking outside of themselves for their answers. It reminds me of the Chinese proverb, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

Call it intuition, divine guidance, an inner voice or simply a quiet knowing, each of us has the ability to access a source of wisdom that will lead us to the next right step. Learning how to access it and then trust it is something that requires both practice and patience.

Here are some steps you can take to begin to make that connection and tap into your own inner guidance.

Develop a daily practice of sitting still and quieting your mind.

Carve out five to ten minutes each day to just be. Make this time sacred by lighting a candle, listening to soft music and focusing on your breathing. You may not notice any immediate answers or see any dramatic changes at first. After you’ve been practicing and developing this habit for awhile, it will begin to have a cumulative effect and you will start to notice a clarity of mind and your answers will come to you as a hunch or in a flash of inspiration. An additional step to making this practice stick is to actually have an uncluttered sacred space to practice your daily ritual.

Get in the habit of writing in a diary or journal either every morning or evening.

In Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way,” she recommends writing morning pages to get the creative juices flowing. She asks you to commit to writing 3 pages each day. In the beginning you may just be writing things like “how the heck am I going to fill up three whole pages?”, but eventually the words will begin to flow. Once you get the hang of it, you can write out a question and then like magic, guidance will spill out onto the page.

Ask for divine guidance.

Develop a relationship with your own concept of a higher power and then have a conversation and ask for help. Many christians live their lives and receive their next right step by asking WWJD? or What Would Jesus Do? If you were brought up in a different faith you can simply ask the question, “What would love do?” To me that means the very same thing because I believe that God is love and when you align your actions with love, then you can never go wrong and your answer will come from the ultimate authority and source of all truth.

Here are a few important reminders as well as the benefits to receiving guidance:

Don’t try to solve big problems all at once.

All you need to do is look for the next right step and then take action on that guidance. It’s like driving in the dark with only your headlights to light your way. You can’t see the final destination, and yet you get there by seeing only the next 200 feet in front of you.

Pay attention to the signals your body is sending you.

We each have our own built-in GPS system that lets us know when we’re off course. If something doesn’t feel right to you, then it probably isn’t the right choice for you.

You have to stay alert when you’re seeking guidance.

It will show up in all sorts of ways and you could miss it if you’re not noticing the signs along the way. One of the benefits of practicing the suggestions mentioned above is that you develop what is known as mindfulness as you become fully engaged and take an active role in the creation of a fabulous life instead of letting life happen to you.

Adolescence is about learning to take responsibility (response ability). In other words, developing the ability to respond to whatever happens and to deal with it by making your own decisions. Probably the biggest payoff to developing your own internal guidance system is that along the way, you start to strengthen your own inner trust muscles and the result is self-confidence. An added bonus to that is when you start to trust yourself then others begin to trust you too. How cool would it be if instead of complaining that your parents don’t trust you to make good decisions, you could effortlessly gain their trust by practicing these few simple steps.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with asking for advice. But never take that advice without first running it through your own internal guidance system to make sure it’s the next right step for you.

There are lots of free downloads available on my site to help you connect to your own guidance, as well as some cd’s and mp3’s you can purchase that will also help you learn how to harness the power of your mind to create a life you love!

NOTE: In my next blog post, I’ll be delving deeper into the topic of divine guidance and angelic assistance. One girl recently asked me how she could connect to her “angles and sprite guides.” Spelling, structure and grammar aside, I was thrilled that she wanted to learn more about her “angels and spirit guides” in an effort to connect to her own inner wisdom and truth.

Remembering 9-11: Let the Healing Begin

September 11, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Much like, “where were you when JFK was shot?”, most of us remember exactly where we were and what we were doing on September 11, 2001.

I remember getting a call from my sister. She was crying hysterically and said “Turn on the TV, we are under attack!” We sat together on the phone watching in shock and saw in real time the second plane fly into the second tower.

I felt like the plane flew directly into me. I sat there shell shocked and then remembered that it was the first day of work for my new assistant. When she arrived I told her that I doubted we’d get any work done at all. So together we sat down and prayed.

In a flash of divine inspiration I got an idea to offer a workshop to help others deal with the ramifications and post-terror emotions of this terrible tragedy. My assistant and I went to work immediately to make it happen and we began developing a workshop called “Let the Healing Begin.”

The workshop was born as a result of feeling totally helpless and then turning to prayer to ask how I could serve. I just knew I had to do something and felt compelled to step up and help others through their grief. Rescue workers flocked to ground zero and gave so much of themselves to help those immediately involved, but I knew that the ripple effect of this tragedy reached right into my own backyard and community. People needed a place to go to talk about and validate their own sense of loss and pain.

However the seminar’s ultimate goal was to help people to shift their focus from fear to love, to learn the importance of resiliency and to look for the good in the situation such as increased patriotism, unity and compassionate humanity.

I wrote this poem and made up bookmarks to hand out at the event. The sentiment is equally meaningful and necessary today as it was eight years ago.

Let the Healing Begin

by, Kathleen Hassan

All we have is this moment
and all we have is each other.

If we don’t get it now,
then we’ll never understand;
we are all God’s children –
sister and brother.

When knocked to our knees,
we must stay there and pray.

Our faith, hope and love
will show others the way.

Be gentle with yourself and
nurture peace in your soul.

Give your troubles to God
and let Him take control.

Let the healing begin
and let it begin with you.

We’re not alone on this path –
together we’ll see it through.

Keep shining your light
for all the world to see.

Dare to be brilliant and
you light the way for me.

Posted in Spirituality |
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Oscar Buzz: Forget Best Dressed… How About Best Message

March 23, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

A.R. Rahman

Last night I was in awe watching the Academy Awards. Not because of the designer gowns, the red carpet parade of who’s who celebs, but because of the powerful and gentle message delivered by A.R. Rahman in his acceptance speech for winning his second Oscar of the night.

Rahman received Oscars for Best Original Score and Best Original Song – both for the song “Jai Ho” from the movie “Slumdog Millionaire.” The composer was soft-spoken and unassuming and spoke from his heart. He ended the acceptance speech by saying something in his native language and I had to google it this morning to find out that he said “God is great” in Tamil, something he says after winning every award.

“All my life I had a choice between hate and love. I chose love and I am here”, were his concluding words.

Each one of us has the opportunity to choose love over hate in every moment of every day. Any time you feel resistance in your body; when you react to any situation with fear, anger, resentment or jealousy, when you catch yourself joining in on gossip about somone who is not there to defend herself, when you judge yourself or others harshly or when you withhold forgiveness from yourself or others and cling to the past – these are all perfect opportunities to practice choosing love.

My friend, Karen Paolino just wrote a book called “What Would Love Do?” and it is a great question to ask yourself when life provides you with yet another opportunity disguised as a challenge or problem.

When you choose love – everybody wins and this is the only choice we can make that can ever heal the world. We may never get to see how our everyday choices affect others. We may never find ourselves on a stage receiving an academy award for our choices, but how glorious it was to see it happen to someone else and have him give all the glory to God.

Love or Hate? How will you choose today?

Posted in Spirituality |
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We Are One ~ Yes We Can!

January 20, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

I am in awe of the entire inauguration. My hope is that parents use this as an opportunity to open up meaningful communication with their kids and will focus on the underlying message of love and faith that was so clearly demonstrated throughout each speech, song and prayer.

My greatest concern and greatest hope for our nation is in the hands of the young women of our country. It astounds me that during the inauguration I still received emails from teen girls who are struggling with inner conflict. Until we help these young women to heal, there is no possible way for them to espouse what is to me the greatest quote of today’s proceedings, “love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

I watched part of it through CNN and Facebook and am astounded by this new technology which allowed me to be part of something bigger than just me at my computer. But then I switched to the TV and sat there weeping and applauding and a few times jumped up and gave a standing ovation.

God bless America – Indeed!! What an amazing moment in history. I’m so thankful to be a part of it all.

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