Weighing In on HUGE

 August 16, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Have you seen ABC Family’s latest summer blockbuster, HUGE? It’s the story of a group of teens at a weight loss camp, otherwise known as fat camp. When I first heard about it, I was intrigued, skeptical and disgusted all at the same time. Another show focusing on what is wrong with teens today and yet another blatant example of the media exploiting social issues to their advantage. Due to a regular Monday night commitment, I haven’t been home to watch it, but as I said, I was intrigued, so I had been taping it. Last week I sat down to a HUGE marathon and have to say, not only was I pleasantly surprised, I actually loved it.

HUGE is well written and the characters are engaging, interesting and so lovable - even though none of them would ever claim that to be true. There are so many layers to the premise of this show. Yes, it’s about body image and all that goes with that, but it is about so much more; relationships, mother/daughter dynamics, friendships, fitting in, brothers and sisters, fathers and daughters, addictions and 12 step recovery, surrender, spirituality, self-esteem, confidence, families, resentments, forgiveness, prayer, religion, affirmations, gratitude, divine guidance, sports, teamwork, leadership, trust and learning to speak the truth.

The ramifications of such a powerful show are, dare I say, HUGE! I can’t say that I’ve laughed out loud, but I have cried and have identified with so many of the raw emotions that these characters are dealing with. The main character, Will is played by Nikki Blonsky and she is so full of anger, resentment and resistance to change. She is afraid that if she gives in, she will be succumbing to society’s expectations of who she should be.  She is caught between the message of self-acceptance and trying to swallow the implications of what that means in an environment that is forcing you to shrink to an acceptable size.

Jess Weiner, Global Ambassador for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund and teen girl advocate has been blogging about HUGE before it even aired and has created a weekly Conversation Guide for each episode. As a Hollywood insider and a voice for change, Jess has interviewed the creators and all the cast members. The writers, Savanah Dooley and Winnie Holzman along with Nikki Blonsky all said that they hope this series becomes more than a show about body image and that people will really resonate with the characters. I’d say that their focused intention has made manifest and together they have created a powerful vehicle for compassion and change. Just like The Cosby Show initially began as a show about a black family, or Will and Grace started out as a show about being gay, both of them became so much more and gave us the opportunity to see past the initial label. HUGE has the potential to be way more than just a show about overweight kids.

As a teen girl advocate myself, self-esteem and empowerment has been the theme of my work for the last fifteen years as well as the focus of my own healing journey for my entire life. I’m not working to fix anyone, but rather to help young women look within for their power, voice and truth. At first glance, HUGE may appear to be just another show about fixing what’s wrong with teens today, but after watching my HUGE marathon I am excited and filled with so much hope. Finally something good on TV that just might actually make a difference.

Definitely check out HUGE on Monday nights on ABC Family and also check out all the other cool interviews on Jess’s blog. The latest is with Ari Stidham, the guy who plays Ian. His advice to any girl that has an issue with her body? “Confidence. Love yourself because you’re a human being. Don’t love yourself because you look a certain way. Love yourself because you were put on this Earth for a reason. And um, that’s attractive.” OMG Ari, I couldn’t have said it better if I tried!!!

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Posted in Body Image | Life Skills | Self-Confidence | Self-Esteem | Spirituality | Teen Girls | Trust |
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Girls and Guidance

 February 8, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

A week doesn’t go by without receiving an email (or several) from girls desperately looking for guidance. The details of their stories may differ, but the essence of each request is exactly the same: “Please help!” Help me figure out if I should tell this guy how I feel… Help me learn how to be more confident around other people… Help me figure out what my next step should be… Help me get along better with my mom.

There was a time when I would personally answer each request and offer suggestions about how they might move through their challenge. This could easily have turned into a full time job if I let it, so I decided to reach more girls who might be going through the very same challenges by posting my responses on my blog or by creating videos on YouTube. Not only would I be helping more girls, but I was also setting gentle boundaries for myself so that I didn’t feel so obligated to personally respond to every single cry for help.

As much as I love hearing from these girls, what I love even more is to empower and teach them how to turn inward and trust their own inner guidance for their next right step or direction so they won’t have to keep looking outside of themselves for their answers. It reminds me of the Chinese proverb, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” 

Call it intuition, divine guidance, an inner voice or simply a quiet knowing, each of us has the ability to access a source of wisdom that will lead us to the next right step. Learning how to access it and then trust it is something that requires both practice and patience.

Here are some steps you can take to begin to make that connection and tap into your own inner guidance.

Develop a daily practice of sitting still and quieting your mind.

Carve out five to ten minutes each day to just be. Make this time sacred by lighting a candle, listening to soft music and focusing on your breathing. You may not notice any immediate answers or see any dramatic changes at first. After you’ve been practicing and developing this habit for awhile, it will begin to have a cumulative effect and you will start to notice a clarity of mind and your answers will come to you as a hunch or in a flash of inspiration. An additional step to making this practice stick is to actually have an uncluttered sacred space to practice your daily ritual. 

Get in the habit of writing in a diary or journal either every morning or evening.

In Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way,” she recommends writing morning pages to get the creative juices flowing. She asks you to commit to writing 3 pages each day. In the beginning you may just be writing things like “how the heck am I going to fill up three whole pages?”, but eventually the words will begin to flow. Once you get the hang of it, you can write out a question and then like magic, guidance will spill out onto the page. 

Ask for divine guidance.

Develop a relationship with your own concept of a higher power and then have a conversation and ask for help. Many christians live their lives and receive their next right step by asking WWJD? or What Would Jesus Do? If you were brought up in a different faith you can simply ask the question, “What would love do?” To me that means the very same thing because I believe that God is love and when you align your actions with love, then you can never go wrong and your answer will come from the ultimate authority and source of all truth.
 

Here are a few important reminders as well as the benefits to receiving guidance:

Don’t try to solve big problems all at once.

All you need to do is look for the next right step and then take action on that guidance. It’s like driving in the dark with only your headlights to light your way. You can’t see the final destination, and yet you get there by seeing only the next 200 feet in front of you.

Pay attention to the signals your body is sending you.

We each have our own built-in GPS system that lets us know when we’re off course. If something doesn’t feel right to you, then it probably isn’t the right choice for you.

You have to stay alert when you’re seeking guidance.

It will show up in all sorts of ways and you could miss it if you’re not noticing the signs along the way. One of the benefits of practicing the suggestions mentioned above is that you develop what is known as mindfulness as you become fully engaged and take an active role in the creation of a fabulous life instead of letting life happen to you.

Adolescence is about learning to take responsibility (response ability). In other words, developing the ability to respond to whatever happens and to deal with it by making your own decisions. Probably the biggest payoff to developing your own internal guidance system is that along the way, you start to strengthen your own inner trust muscles and the result is self-confidence. An added bonus to that is when you start to trust yourself then others begin to trust you too. How cool would it be if instead of complaining that your parents don’t trust you to make good decisions, you could effortlessly gain their trust by practicing these few simple steps.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with asking for advice. But never take that advice without first running it through your own internal guidance system to make sure it’s the next right step for you.

There are lots of free downloads available on my site to help you connect to your own guidance, as well as some cd’s and mp3’s you can purchase that will also help you learn how to harness the power of your mind to create a life you love!

NOTE: In my next blog post, I’ll be delving deeper into the topic of divine guidance and angelic assistance. One girl recently asked me how she could connect to her “angles and sprite guides.” Spelling, structure and grammar aside, I was thrilled that she wanted to learn more about her “angels and spirit guides” in an effort to connect to her own inner wisdom and truth.

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When Bad is So Good

 December 1, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

What do rockers Keri Hilson, Gwen Stefani and Katy Perry have in common? Besides the obvious of being extremely talented, they have all landed on the celebrity client wish list of those “baddest” girls that up-and-coming designer, Samantha Ferguson would love to see wearing her Donnaccia clothing line.

Can’t you just see Gwen Stefani or Keri Hilson rocking this skirt? 

Imagine Katy Perry on the red carpet wearing this beautiful dress? 

I met Samantha Ferguson while speaking at the Young Women’s Leadership Conference in York, PA. Samantha is a member of SIFE (Students In Free Enterprise) and was one of the models who rocked the fashion show demonstrating how to get the look for less by consignment shopping. As always, I am so inspired and fascinated by young women with a vision which Samantha clearly has. During lunch she told me about her business and brand but with only a few minutes before the next group of girls were to arrive, I still wanted to know more so I asked if we could do a follow up interview for my blog. 

Kathleen:

What’s the name of your fashion design company and how long have you been designing fashion?

Samantha:

Donnaccia is the name of my line and company. I’ve been designing for about 3 years now on a part-time basis while taking classes at York College as a full-time student.

Kathleen:

Who are your favorite designers?

Samantha:

fave designers are; New york Couture (Cassie Kogler) - because everything is unique and she is a hustlin’ and bustlin’ girl like me, she has a very unique and dramatic style ♥ it lol and Betsey Johnson very awkward stuff sometimes, which is different from the norm, stuff that is unusual is very attention grabbing, i don’t like to do what everyone else is doing.

Kathleen:

When did you decide you wanted to be a fashion designer?

Samantha:

I designed my prom dress, and my mom made it. I designed my own dress because there were not any dresses that were my style, and I did not want to blend in with everyone else, I wanted the dress to be memorable, something no one ever saw before. After prom I thought about designing but I was in college and doing a lot of homework. I started taking entrepreneurial classes in my sophomore year which helped me build my dreams into ideas and finally into opportunities.

Kathleen:

Who’s your ideal client and what kind of woman would wear your designs?

Samantha:

I target women who are ‘bad’ though bad in a good way. Strong and independent women/ladies are my target client. I target women who like to be noticed for there achievements, who are not afraid of showing who they are, who are breaking the class ceilings in corporate america yet still having fun. The women/ladies I see wearing my clothes are those that are very influential and willing to play with the boys. I greatly respect women who are independent and not conforming to the norms of society.

Kathleen:

What is your vision or future goals for your design company?

Samantha:

I want to eventually own a boutique. I want to own a boutique that’s half a salon. Salons are important to strong women, to make them feel beautiful and a good place to throw around ideas for entrepreneurs.

Kathleen:

What advice do you have for girls who are interested in a career in fashion?

Samantha:

First, learn a little bit about business. I’ve talked to a lot of fashion designers and they told me that now they have to hire people to run the business for them. Second, try to define yourself from other designers, have a key aspect that your customers will remember you for. Lastly, always have a clear vision of your dreams!

Kathleen:

What companies or designers have you interned for?

Samantha:

I am currently interning from a small business; Bowling Concepts LLC, an online clothing retailer of custom embroidered bowling shirts and retro shirts, and also a western wear website that retails western clothing. I work closely with the owner of the company (an entrepreneur) and learned and am still learning a lot about running my own company.

Kathleen:

Do you have any aspirations to try out for Project Runway or the new show called Launch My Line?

Samantha:

oh, yeah! it would be a great experience and a fun challenge! i would love to do the things that people on the show do, i would love to meet new people, expand my horizons, and also challenge my talents. and develop my designing skills.

Kathleen:

How can someone purchase your clothes?

Samantha:

online at onlyforthebaddest.com, on myspace and find me on facebook

Kathleen:

Your tag line says Bad Clothes for Bad Girls and can you tell me about the line only for the baddest?”

Samantha:

only for the baddest is about uplifting women to be the best they can be in an edgy way. Bad is not bad meaning bad but bad meaning good. A bad girl is one that does not conform to the norms of society and pushes beyond expectations.

Kathleen:

Where do you think your bold sense of confidence comes from?

Samantha:

I never really thought about where my confidence came from. I just know I am in control of my own fate so whatever i do can effect my future and I make decisions according to that. I set goals for myself, both short term and long term and then I set out to accomplish them. That way I am continually challenging myself to grow.

Kathleen:

Any final message for young girls who might be looking up to you?

Samantha:

My message to young girls is to not let other people influence the aspirations they have for their future. More often than not very talented young girls are influenced to do things to satisfy other people, when they should be focused on satisfying themselves. I want girls to know that if you stick to your goals you will achieve them, and let your haters be your motivators.

Samantha Ferguson is certainly someone to watch and follow - so why not follow her on Twitter? @Donnaccia2bad

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Girls Helping Girls

 October 30, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

You don’t have to look very far to get a glimpse of what’s wrong with girls today. Pick up any magazine, peruse your local bookstore, google “teen girls” or turn on the television and view the vast array of in-your-face perspectives of the dark side of growing up girl in today’s image-obsessed culture.  Shows, magazines and even the very self-help experts themselves, portrayed as counter-culture saviors to assist today’s young women maneuver their way through the pitfalls of adolescence, all focus more on the problem and what’s wrong vs. the solution and what’s right with girls today.

All of this can be very overwhelming and there are days that I feel like throwing my hands up in the air and asking “What’s the use?”

Last week, like an answered prayer, I got the shift in perspective I had been asking for and I was filled up with hope watching two young women demonstrating everything that’s right with girls today.  I was invited for the second year in a row to speak to 1500 7th grade girls at the Young Women’s Leadership Conference in York, PA. I was the opening keynote speaker, presented a workshop on body image and then closed the conference with a message of hope and a take action challenge for the girls to find their power within and to dare to step up and make a difference in this world.

The event was held at York College and this year, students from SIFE (Students In Free Enterprise) were to present a 15 minute program to the girls during the conference as part of a community outreach project. The conference planner had told me that in years past, these presentations hadn’t gone over very well and the girls didn’t pay attention.  So I offered to coach the girls who were in charge of the project to help them create a presentation that would engage, inspire and challenge their audience. Trust me, 7th grade girls can eat you alive if you don’t gear a program that answers the questions What’s in it for me? and Why should I listen to you?

It was such a privilege to work with Nicole Smolenski and Shablis Glover, the SIFE project directors. They were so open and willing to be coached because they really wanted to succeed and more importantly to make an impact on younger women.  They remember what it was like to be in 7th grade and they know how hard it can be desperately trying to fit in while secretly hoping to stand out.


Shablis Glover, Kathleen, Nicole Smolenski

Nicole and Shablis entitled their program “Dressing the Girl in the Mirror” which dovetailed off my talk,  “Loving the Girl in the Mirror: Reflections of Your True Self.” They took every suggestion I gave them and ran with it. They created a phenomenal PowerPoint presentation that showed similar outfits, each created from name brand stores along with their whopping price tags and then demonstrated how to create that look for less. But they didn’t just tell them – they showed them.

The girls teamed up with a local consignment store and then enlisted the help of their fellow SIFE members as models and created a fashion show that totally rocked the house! It was so amazing and these models of every shape and size really worked it! They showed the girls how cool it can be to be yourself and how to step out in confidence without the designer labels.  It was just so powerful to watch girls helping girls and it was such a privilege to be a small part of making that happen.

Click here to see more pics of the fashion show and to see the photos of me presenting to the girls click here!

It’s moments like these that remind me why I do the work that I do.  Amidst a world of twittering publicity hounds all vying for the media’s attention in the hopes of becoming the next “big thing” we can sometimes get caught up in all of it and lose our way and wonder how on earth we can begin to be heard and make a difference. And every now and then I get a note like the one below that helps me to know that my voice and my message of hope is being heard… and for that I am so grateful.

My daughter, was a participant in your Young Women’s Leadership Conference the other day in Pennsylvania.

I would like to thank you for inspiring my daughter!  She has been talking non-stop about you and your message.  She has been through a lot in the past few years… her father & I divorced, her father is not as involved in her life as she would like, I remarried to a wonderful man with three sons, and her Aunt, to whom she is close, was recently diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer.  My daughter is a trooper, but often times she internalizes things & then “blows up”.  However, in the past couple of days, she is smiling, she’s positive, she is repeating what she heard at the conference & it is amazing!!

Thank you for being such an inspiration & for connecting with my daughter at such an impressionable time in her life!

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Teen Halloween Alert: Scary Trick

 October 14, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Contemplating what to dress up as for Halloween? How about a lollipop?

A recent ad for Ralph Lauren has sparked a huge controversy all over the internet. The image displays the already thin model, Philippa Hamilton wearing the latest of Ralph’s fall designer duds, but the photo has been digitally altered to the point where her waist is actually smaller than her own head! And yes, she actually looks like a human lollipop!


Mothers scrambling to find the latest L’il Lollipop costume for their daughters!

“NO! you say, “Not Ralph too?” Yup – even Ralph. But wait, it gets worse, Ralph actually sicked his lawyers on the sites that first commented on this travesty. The blog Boing Boing, who was the first to bring this to light received copyright infringement violation notifications – but would not back down. Boing Boing editor, Cory Docktorow wrote “So, to Ralph Lauren, GreenbergTraurig, and PRL Holdings, Inc: sue and be damned. Copyright law doesn’t give you the right to threaten your critics for pointing out the problems with your offerings. You should know better.” And then went even further saying they would continue to push back and inform the public about this to ensure that they got a good look at Ralph’s practices and promised to feed his models soup and sandwiches to fatten them up!

And it worked! Ralph conceded and finally fessed up and issued this statement:

“For over 42 years we have built a brand based on quality and integrity. After further investigation, we have learned that we are responsible for the poor imaging and retouching that resulted in a very distorted image of a woman’s body. We have addressed the problem and going forward will take every precaution to ensure that the caliber of our artwork represents our brand appropriately.”

So girls, as you make this oh-so-important decision about what to be for Halloween, spend some time contemplating who you want to be in life. Decide now to be a leader, to be brave and let your voice be heard. Let the media and the world know that you refuse to buy into society’s standards and illusions about beauty.

Here are 6 simple things you can do to change this travesty and take charge for yourself and for women all over the world:

  • Raise your awareness about the media’s manipulation by visiting sites like About Face that aims to combat negative and distorted images of women.
  • Question today’s standards of beauty and decide for yourself your own definition of beauty – to me Confidence is Beautiful!
  • Raise your voice and let companies know that it’s not cool to distort women’s bodies and to warp young women’s minds into thinking that fake is real – because it’s not.
  • Gather strength in numbers and use the power of a group to boycott companies and magazines that distort the truth by using this topic for a school project or community outreach program.
  • Love and appreciate your body – exactly the way it is. Make a list of all the things you appreciate about your body instead of focusing on all of your faults.
  • Be compassionate for women of all shapes and sizes. You may never know what inner battle is going on inside someone else. You could be the one who builds her up or tears her down. Now that is real power!

The timing for this media brouhaha was perfect as I am preparing a Body Image program for 1500 7th grade girls at the Young Women’s Leadership Conference in York PA.  It’s hard to think about world peace and becoming a leader when all you can think about is how much you hate your thighs.  It’s time to change all that and to teach girls that real beauty comes from within.

Stop buying into and accepting this Trick and then open your arms to the Treat that you will experience by daring to become Your Very Best YOU!

 

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The Quest for the Perfect Breasts

 October 7, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

It’s October and time again for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I am all for finding a cure for breast cancer and any kind of cancer for that matter, but what I am not all for is focusing on the disease itself. The Law of Attraction states that whatever you focus your attention upon is returned to you multiplied. So if that is true, why on Earth would we want to set aside a whole month placing all of our focus on the disease of breast cancer? (But no, if you focus on that picture above, you will not grow bigger boobs – that’s not how the Law of Attraction works!!)

So I’m proposing “Love Your Boobs Month!” As a matter of fact, another teen empowerment specialist, Jess Weiner just wrote a fabulous article this month in Seventeen Magazine about Making Peace with Your Boobs! (Great minds think alike apparently!!)

I’m a 53 year old woman with the chest of a pre-pubescent 12-year-old. My cup size is 34 nearly A and I have to shop in the girls department for beginner bras! It has taken me a lifetime to learn how to love and accept my breasts exactly the way they are. I even did a stand-up comedy routine at a comedy club about my quest for the perfect breasts. I made fun of all the names of bras like The 18 Hour Bra for example – who the hell wears a bra for eighteen freaking hours at a time? Another was a bra called Sweet Nothings and I lamented, they may be nothing to you, but I fed two babies with these sweet nothings!

When I was 15 years old, my mother was taking me and my siblings out for dinner. I came downstairs all dressed up and ready to go and my mother took one look at me and said “Can’t you stuff? I don’t want to be seen with a flat-chested daughter!” My own mother didn’t even love and accept me just the way I was, so how was I supposed to love myself?

I’ve been teased mercilessly all my life for my flat chest. In Junior High School a boy called me a Carpenter’s Dream, which translated meant – flat as a board and easy to screw! One might wonder why I didn’t just say “screw it” and get a boob job. Well first of all, I never had a spare ten grand lying around! But seriously I just never, ever wanted to go to such extremes to fit in and be just like everyone else. I knew that my life lesson was all about self-love and acceptance and two pounds of rubber and silicone wouldn’t change the inside of me – the part that never felt good enough.

On the bright side, I was an aerobics instructor for ten years prior to my current career as a Confidence Coach and Inspirational Speaker and Author, and being flat-chested certainly had its advantages back in the day of “feel the burn” and “pump it up.” Whenever I’d turn up the music and increase the intensity, all the big-boobed women in class would moan and grab hold of their racks for dear life – mine never moved the entire time!

Some day, when I get a spare minute or so, I want to write and star in a One Woman Play called Boobs, Jugs, Hooters & Tits and donate all of the proceeds to Healthy Breast Research. Imagine if everyone took all the money they’ve spent on boob jobs and put it towards programs that foster inner beauty and self-esteem? The thought of it makes me well all up and get all misty eyed. Fortunately for me, I always have some tissues on hand – looks like Mother always did know best!!

Yes ladies, it’s definitely time to make peace with da girlz!!

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Teen Girls: Making the List

 September 29, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Last week at New Jersey’s top-ranked Milburn High School, senior “it” girls circulated their annual “Slut List” of incoming freshman girls. A dozen or more names are written on a piece of notebook paper along with vulgar descriptions and are copied and circulated around the school.

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One might assume that this is just another awful example of girl bullying, but in this case, you’d be wrong. According to William Miron, the principal of Milburn High, this has been going on for a decade and said “We’ve had girls obsessed that their names are on it, and girls who were upset that they didn’t make the list.”

That’s right, some girls actually are disappointed if they don’t make the list! Is this really what girl power is all about? Seriously?

As a Confidence Coach, I help girls learn how to look within, find their truth and autentic power and dare to speak that truth. But has the message of Rachel Simmons’ book “The Curse of the Good Girl” been misconstrued and sent girls careening in the opposite direction towards becoming badder than bad?

I’ll never forget the day in high school when my “so-called” best friend came up to me and in the name of “I thought you’d want to know” informed me that there was a rumor going around school that I was a slut. I felt like I had just been sucker punched. I remember actually laughing and pretending that it didn’t bother me one bit, but inside I was humiliated and mortified.

It was September of my sophomore year of high school and just one month before, my mother died. I was sixteen, alone, scared and was literally looking for love in all the wrong places. My dad died when I was ten so I had no parental guidance whatsoever and had to maneuver my way through this world alone. I was desperate for love and tried to get it in any way I could – and it backfired miserably.

Many years of self-esteem building and therapy sessions later, I am passionately determined to help teen girls find their authentic voice and power and learn how to break free of the societal brainwashing that masquerades as “girl power.”

We live in a culture where becoming well known supercedes just about every other value we hold dear. And it’s not just with our youth, adults buy into this just as much and the acclaim and fame seems to go to those with the biggest friend list on facebook and followers on twitter. Is it any wonder that girls would get a power rush at the mention of their name making it onto any list?

Every single one of us is looking for love in all the wrong places. The fulfillment, the self-worth, the self-respect can only be found within from the source of all love and power. Jesus said “the kingdom of heaven is within you” and Buddha said “look within, thou art the Buddha.”

Stop for a moment and just take a breath. Notice the air as it moves in and out of your body. Quiet your mind and be still. Turn down the volume of the world’s chatter where everyone is clamoring for their spot and just be. Turn your attention inward and listen for that soft and gentle guidance that will lead you towards your best and highest good – better than you could ever imagine.

We really can create anything our heart desires. So why not put all of your energy on creating what you really want instead of wasting another moment of your life hoping to be on some stupid list. The only list I hope to be on is God’s list of those who woke up and remembered the truth about my power of choice to co-create a life beyond my wildest dreams when I connect to the source of all love within.

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The Power of a Dream

 August 19, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

On June 10, 2009 my son Alex was drafted by the Boston Red Sox and his life long dream had finally come true. It was without a doubt one of the most agonizing and emotional days of my life.

For the past year Alex had been heavily scouted and most of the scouts assured him that they would take him somewhere in the top ten rounds. I was glued to my computer in my office and Alex was on his laptop in the family room. My heart and spirit dropped when we moved into the eleventh round and his name had not been called. Alex came into my office and said “Well, I can always go back to school and hope it happens next year.”

And then suddenly the phone started ringing off the hook!! Calls came in from the San Diego Padres, the Seattle Mariners, the Chicago Cubs and the Boston Red Sox. My son fielded inquiries like a pro and to my utter surprise turned down their offers! He wasn’t being greedy, but he clearly knew his value and worth and also knew that a degree from Duke University (whether he’d return for his senior year or sign in his junior year) was his bargaining chip.

By the 20th round, I was near tears and he was amazingly calm and at one point said to me, “Well, it looks like this isn’t happening this year. It’s OK Mom.”  Then the Chicago Cubs called back and offered him the kind of money he had been originally asking for and they said that Alex was going to be their next pick. The Cubs next pick was only 3 teams away and then all of a sudden as we were watching the screen, now both huddled in front of his laptop, and we heard and saw “The Boston Red Sox select Alex Hassan as their 2009, 20th Round Draft Pick.”

We both just looked at each other in total shock and then all of a sudden we both started screaming, laughing, crying, hugging and jumping up and down!  It was a miracle and nothing that we could’ve planned or orchestrated ourselves. But this was only the beginning and far from being a done deal.

Let the negotiations begin!

Alex had been drafted as a right handed pitcher and had played as both a pitcher and position player all through high school and college. He had been invited back for his second summer to play for the Cape Cod Baseball League playing for the Orleans Firebirds as the right fielder and as the closer on the mound. He had a fabulous summer both at the plate and on the mound and now the Red Sox were beginning to see him and like him more as a position player.

There is so much more to the story, but on August 1st, Alex accepted the Red Sox’ offer and signed and became an official card-carrying member of The Boston Red Sox! He was immediately assigned to the rookie league, The Lowell Spinners and has been playing right field and is doing phenomenally well. He’s been on a huge hitting streak and recently was named “Player of the Game” and was also highlighted in a fabulous interview on the Spinner’s blog.

Alex Hassan - Player of the Game!
Alex Hassan - Player of the Game!

It has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions this summer and I couldn’t be more proud of my son. Through it all, there have been some important lessons that I’d like to share with you.

  • Never underestimate the power of a dream but be willing to let go of how you think it’s supposed to happen and allow God to handle all the details.
  • Your choices either lead you towards your goals or away from them. My son doesn’t drink, smoke or do drugs. He is an athelete and has had to make some really tough decisions and has learned how to say “no thanks” with so much grace and dignity. As a result, he has gained respect from his friends and most importantly, has developed self-respect.
  • Never let the odds get in the way of your dreams and goals. Becoming a professional baseball player is a one in a million shot, but my son is one in a million and I never let him forget that.
  • Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle happens. There have been so many times that my son wanted to give up and give into the negative thoughts swirling around in his head. But all of our power lies in the present moment and in our ability to shift our thoughts away from fear and doubt and return to the awesome power of love. All things are possible when we look through the lenses of love and possibility thinking. Alex just kept telling himself “I love this game and I was born to play baseball.”
  • Let go and let God. There’s a funny expression that says “Wanna make God laugh? Tell him your plans!” My husband and I had our house on the market for over six months without so much as a nibble. My plan was to up and move to California, but God reminded me that for now, I am a member of Red Sox Nation! Oooohhh Oooohhh Boston you’re my home!

Alex Hassan - Red Sox Nation
Red Sox Nation!

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Posted in Announcements | Law of Attraction | Self-Confidence | Trust |
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One Giant Leap for Womankind

 July 20, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Moonwalk

Long before Michael Jackson slid backwards across the stage, as a matter of fact, 40 years ago today man walked on the moon. July 20, 1969: Do you remember where you were that day? For my teen readers, you weren’t even born yet! I’ll never forget that day, but not because it was a day in history, but rather a day in herstory!

One small step for man… One giant step for womankind!
One small step for a woman…

I got my first period the day the astronauts walked on the moon! While the nation sat transfixed to their television sets, I was locked in my bathroom, afraid to come out and trying to figure out how to strap on the paraphernalia that my mother kept hidden in the linen closet!

Note to moms: Don’t wait to have “the talk!” It’s scary enough to grow up female in this world and it’s important to know the facts of life before you actually need them. With all the hormones in our food and milk supply, girls are entering puberty earlier – so prepare them.

I never dreamed 40 years ago – the day I became a woman – that one day I would dedicate my life to empowering girls and women worldwide. Talk about a giant leap for womankind! I am on fire to share my hard-earned life lessons with young women and to teach them how to build their self-esteem and find their voice and authentic power.

I’m so excited about the upcoming programs scheduled throughout the rest of the summer and into the fall. I’ll be back for the second time to speak to the girls at Camp Pembroke and have been invited back again this year to speak to 1500 girls at the Young Women’s Leadership Conference in York, PA. The sorority sisters from Duke University have invited me to speak on campus to help them develop the inner confidence they need to go out and make a difference in the world.

I am currently booking for the fall of ‘09 and the spring of 2010. Lots of budgets have been cut due to the economic crisis and I am willing to honor last years’ fees for next years’ programs if you book me before September 1, 2009. For new clients I am offering a discount of $500 off new bookings. There has never been a better time to invest in the self-esteem of your students. We need to teach our children how to manifest and co-create a better world and economy by harnessing the power of their thoughts. By taking one small step, you too can make a giant leap for womankind!

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Posted in Kathleen Hassan | Self-Confidence | Speaking |
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Teen Girls: Getting the Love You Need

 February 10, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

I can still remember the year my mother forgot to buy my Valentine’s cards for the class. I stayed up late to make my own out of pink and red construction paper and then attempted to decorate a Kleenex box with paper doilies. I walked into school with a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat knowing full well that my efforts at cutting and pasting would pale in comparison to everyone else’s store-bought heart-shaped cards with adorable sayings like “puppy love” and “hey cutie pie.” To this day I can remember those feelings of being less than and just wanting to be liked and noticed.

Valentine’s Day, a day in February that is supposed to represent love, for many represents the exact opposite. It’s actually been dubbed “Singles Awareness Day” by those who have been made to feel less than because they don’t have “that special someone” to give or receive a Valentine.

The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. That’s a lot of love.

So where is the love?

Many of today’s teens are struggling with the exact same emotions of wanting to be liked and noticed but if you don’t happen to be one of those lucky billion who actually receive one of those “Be Mine Valentine” messages this year, it can feel pretty crummy. But love is not an emotion to be reserved for one day out of the year, nor is it something to be rationed out only to certain people.

Want to be and feel a part of this billion dollar love fest? Here are a few strategies to be your own Valentine.

Become attractive! Start treating yourself the way you want that someone special to treat you. As Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” Attracting love into your life starts by developing the attraction factor from the inside out. Self-confidence is sexy because when you look like you don’t need ‘em is when they come flocking to you!

Rid yourself of jealousy. Stop focusing on what you don’t have and start appreciating the gifts in your life. Jealousy is one of the lowest and most negative energies and actually attracts more scarcity and lack back to you. Gratitude, along with joy and love is the highest frequency and the most powerful energy on Earth and being in that state attracts more love back to you.

Learn to love and accept yourself – just the way you are. Knowing that you’re worthy and deserving of only the best is an important part of building your own self-esteem. We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves and unconditional love has to begin with you through self-love.

One of the most famous quotes about self-love is by Marianne Williamson from her book, A Return to Love…”Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world.”

This year pay less attention to the whole “Be Mine” frenzy and focus all your efforts to “Be YOU.” Who are you? You are one in a billion and there is no one quite like you – Valentine!

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Posted in Character Development | Dating & Relationships | Life Skills | Self-Confidence | Teen Girls |
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