Stay Where You Are - So I Can Feel Safe

 December 20, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

There’s a certain sense of security and camaraderie in the struggle of life. But what happens when someone decides to let go of the struggle and step into the joy and flow of life? Do people like you better when you play it safe and play the victim of circumstances?

When someone decides to step out of the role they’ve been playing and makes a bold move towards change, you’d think that everyone would stand up and cheer! But more often then not, people try to put you back where they think you belong so they can feel safe. Misery loves company is an expression that, although few of us would admit, really does make us feel a little bit better about our own lives if someone else is struggling right along with us.

The Mobile Effect

Imagine everyone in your family and all of your closest friends are all hanging on a mobile. No matter how functional or dysfunctional each individual or family unit may be, each person keeps the entire structure in balance. But when one dares to take themselves off the hook and opts for something different - even if that something different is fabulous - everyone feels the shift and the whole unit is off kilter and out of whack.

The good news is that everyone will eventually find a new sense of balance. The bad news is that the time in between can sometimes send the bold adventurer, who disrupted the status quo, clambering back into old patterns and habits of people pleasing while putting themselves back on the hook!

I recently made such a bold move in my own life and am living out my wildest dreams! I relocated my life and business to Naples, Florida and I’m having the time of my life. I’ve been amazed, but not surprised by some of the comments I’ve received from family and friends:
- you bitch!
- must be nice
- we get it - you’re happy
- I’m ignoring your posts on Facebook - they’re way too positive
- how come your life is so serene and I can barely get through the day?

Sometimes I’ve found myself holding back so I don’t come off as bragging. Then I remember the quote by Marianne Williamson from her book “A Return to Love,” Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. Then I remember that I’ve been here before and that this too shall pass. I’ve been on a healing and spiritual journey for the last 20 years and I’ve had a lot of practice in letting go and trusting the guidance of God. I know that following that inner guidance is what truly serves the world and I’m willing to step into the unknown and light the way for others.

If the opinions of others have kept you stuck where you are, if you’ve been dreaming about making a change in your life - be it a bold, life-altering move, or a tiny shift in your daily habits or routines, one of the best ways to step confidently in the direction of your dreams is to create a strong support system around you.

Create a Strong Support System

Here are a few ways to get the support you need to make your move and make your mark on the world:

- Start a Mastermind Group. Gather up 4-6 people who are all ready to step boldly in the direction of their dreams. Commit to meet regularly to brainstorm ideas, encourage and cheer each other on and hold each other accountable for action items.

- Find a Goal Buddy. Establish a partnership and commitment with one person who shares similar goals as you, such as - getting in shape, writing a book, quitting smoking, etc.

- Join a 12-Step Recovery Group. It’s not only alcoholics who work the 12 steps. There are recovery groups for over-eaters, over-spenders, gamblers, sex-addicts and co-dependents. Join a group, go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the 12 steps.

- Hire a Coach! A coach is like a personal trainer for the mind and will help you gain clarity and focus to direct your thoughts towards your goals and away from what you don’t want.

The Only One Who Likes Change is a Wet Baby!

Change doesn’t have to be as hard or scary. The right support around you - to hold your hand and cheer you on - will remind you that you are safe and powerful.

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes!

Are you ready to take a baby step or a giant leap in the direction of your dreams? Maybe you’d like to…

=> start a business
=> find new love
=> get a new career (or a raise)
=> lose weight
=> get your child(ren) to behave better
=> or build your self-esteem & self-confidence

No matter what you’d like to change or achieve, the secrets to success are the same…

    #1: Get clear. As specifically as possible, decide what you want. The more clear you are on what you want to have in your life, the more likely you are to achieve it.

    #2: Get perspective. Most people don’t tell anyone what they want or what they are struggling with and because of that they don’t get an outside perspective.

    #3: Get support. Very few people (if any) achieve anything great alone. Sports stars have teammates and coaches. Be willing to ask the people in your life to support you.

As my holiday gift to you, I am offering a substantial discount on a one hour Laser Coaching Session. Sessions typically cost $150, but by using the Discount Code GRACE during checkout, you’ll pay only $100—that’s a 33% savings! AND as an added bonus, if you decide to continue with ongoing monthly coaching, I will apply that $100 towards your first month of coaching!

In our coaching session we’ll work together to…



=> Create a crystal clear vision for ‘ultimate success’ so you know exactly what you want, where you’re headed, and what you need to do to make it happen.


=> Uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your ability to make changes that last or that are slowing down your progress


=> Leave this session renewed, re-energized, and inspired to finally achieve the change you seek- once and for all


If you’re ready to make 2012 your best year yet… click here to purchase your Laser Coaching Session NOW!

Happy Holidays & Here’s to becoming Your Very Best YOU!

I’m not bragging… but here’s what living your dreams looks and feels like!!!

 

 



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Posted in Coaching | Life Skills | Personal Power | Risk-Taking | Self-Confidence | Self-Esteem | Trust |
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What If You Knew You Couldn’t Fail?

 July 11, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Imagine if you knew in advance that you’d already won and that nothing you could do - or not do would change that. Imagine how different your approach to life would be. Your attitude and perspective would be so dramatically shifted from the way it is right now. You’d play more and worry less. You’d see challenges as opportunities to be creative. You would no longer be driven by the self-centered fear of not being good enough because you’d already know that you are enough.

Well, guess what? You’ve already won! You already are enough! For you were created in the image and likeness of God. Within you lies the changeless and eternal truth that you are one with your Creator. Our only purpose here is to awaken to the truth of that and let go of the illusion that we are anything less than the love and light of God. Our job is to allow God to fully manifest all that He is through us. We are already all that, we simply need to remember that and stop resisting and clinging to who we think we are.

Everything is Possible

Years ago I heard Benjamin Zander, Conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, Teacher at the New England Conservatory of Music and author of “The Art of Possibility” speak at a Toastmasters Convention. He shared a revolutionary approach to teaching music in that at the beginning of each semester, he gave all of his students an A and then had them imagine what they could do with music knowing they had already succeeded in the class.

When he first proposed this far-out concept, many of his foreign students just could not accept that they didn’t have to work hard to earn the A. Eventually, he got them all to see how the struggling to achieve actually blocked the flow of creativity and prohibited them from fully expressing and creating music from their divine source of power within. The results were astounding and since that time, his concept and miraculous approach to creating music became the book “The Art of Possibility” and has catapulted Zander onto the stage as an in-demand presenter at conferences all over the world.

I’m Not Lost… I’m Exploring

Jana Stanfield is a gifted singer, songwriter and inspirational speaker who travels the world giving her Keynote Concerts. I first met Jana over 15 years ago at my very first National Speakers Association Conference. We met in passing on the trade show floor and she handed me a bumper sticker that said “I’m not lost… I’m exploring” and it totally changed my perspective from that moment on. I realized that I was on a spiritual journey and that I wasn’t lost, that it was OK not to know and that it was safe to trust that I was being guided to my truth.

Now imagine how different your life would be if you knew that you weren’t lost and that you were being guided every step of the way. Try that on for size and see if you can feel your body letting go of some fear and struggle. You’ve already won. You’ve already got the A. So what would you explore today, knowing that you can’t get it wrong?

One of my all-time favorite Jana Stanfield songs is “If I Were Brave.” Recently Jana put out a request on FaceBook to submit pictures of a time when we were being really brave. I submitted a picture of me swinging through the air with the (not so) greatest of ease on the flying trapeze and Jana selected it to be in her music video!!

Here are some of the lyrics of the song. Take some time today and answer some of the questions she poses;

“If I Were Brave” - Jana Stanfield

What would I do, if I knew that I could not fail?

If I believed, would the wind always fill up my sail?

How far would I go? What could I achieve,

trusting the hero in me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,

where fools and dreamers dare to tread.

I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.

What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

What if we’re all meant to do what we secretly dream?

What would you ask, if you knew you could have anything?

Like the mighty oak sleeps, in the heart of a seed,

are there miracles in you and me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,

where fools and dreamers dare to tread.

I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.

What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

If I refuse to listen to the voice of fear,

would the voice of courage whisper in my ear?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,

where fools and dreamers dare to tread.

I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.

What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?

And now… Here is her music video starring me!! (watch the whole thing and be totally inspired… but just make sure you watch me at 3:54!)

 


You’ve already won & you cannot fail! Go for it!!

 



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Posted in A Course in Miracles | Kathleen Hassan | Life Skills | Personal Power | Risk-Taking | Self-Confidence | Self-Esteem | Speaking | Spirituality | Trust | Video |
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When Bad is So Good

 December 1, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

What do rockers Keri Hilson, Gwen Stefani and Katy Perry have in common? Besides the obvious of being extremely talented, they have all landed on the celebrity client wish list of those “baddest” girls that up-and-coming designer, Samantha Ferguson would love to see wearing her Donnaccia clothing line.

Can’t you just see Gwen Stefani or Keri Hilson rocking this skirt? 

Imagine Katy Perry on the red carpet wearing this beautiful dress? 

I met Samantha Ferguson while speaking at the Young Women’s Leadership Conference in York, PA. Samantha is a member of SIFE (Students In Free Enterprise) and was one of the models who rocked the fashion show demonstrating how to get the look for less by consignment shopping. As always, I am so inspired and fascinated by young women with a vision which Samantha clearly has. During lunch she told me about her business and brand but with only a few minutes before the next group of girls were to arrive, I still wanted to know more so I asked if we could do a follow up interview for my blog. 

Kathleen:

What’s the name of your fashion design company and how long have you been designing fashion?

Samantha:

Donnaccia is the name of my line and company. I’ve been designing for about 3 years now on a part-time basis while taking classes at York College as a full-time student.

Kathleen:

Who are your favorite designers?

Samantha:

fave designers are; New york Couture (Cassie Kogler) - because everything is unique and she is a hustlin’ and bustlin’ girl like me, she has a very unique and dramatic style ♥ it lol and Betsey Johnson very awkward stuff sometimes, which is different from the norm, stuff that is unusual is very attention grabbing, i don’t like to do what everyone else is doing.

Kathleen:

When did you decide you wanted to be a fashion designer?

Samantha:

I designed my prom dress, and my mom made it. I designed my own dress because there were not any dresses that were my style, and I did not want to blend in with everyone else, I wanted the dress to be memorable, something no one ever saw before. After prom I thought about designing but I was in college and doing a lot of homework. I started taking entrepreneurial classes in my sophomore year which helped me build my dreams into ideas and finally into opportunities.

Kathleen:

Who’s your ideal client and what kind of woman would wear your designs?

Samantha:

I target women who are ‘bad’ though bad in a good way. Strong and independent women/ladies are my target client. I target women who like to be noticed for there achievements, who are not afraid of showing who they are, who are breaking the class ceilings in corporate america yet still having fun. The women/ladies I see wearing my clothes are those that are very influential and willing to play with the boys. I greatly respect women who are independent and not conforming to the norms of society.

Kathleen:

What is your vision or future goals for your design company?

Samantha:

I want to eventually own a boutique. I want to own a boutique that’s half a salon. Salons are important to strong women, to make them feel beautiful and a good place to throw around ideas for entrepreneurs.

Kathleen:

What advice do you have for girls who are interested in a career in fashion?

Samantha:

First, learn a little bit about business. I’ve talked to a lot of fashion designers and they told me that now they have to hire people to run the business for them. Second, try to define yourself from other designers, have a key aspect that your customers will remember you for. Lastly, always have a clear vision of your dreams!

Kathleen:

What companies or designers have you interned for?

Samantha:

I am currently interning from a small business; Bowling Concepts LLC, an online clothing retailer of custom embroidered bowling shirts and retro shirts, and also a western wear website that retails western clothing. I work closely with the owner of the company (an entrepreneur) and learned and am still learning a lot about running my own company.

Kathleen:

Do you have any aspirations to try out for Project Runway or the new show called Launch My Line?

Samantha:

oh, yeah! it would be a great experience and a fun challenge! i would love to do the things that people on the show do, i would love to meet new people, expand my horizons, and also challenge my talents. and develop my designing skills.

Kathleen:

How can someone purchase your clothes?

Samantha:

online at onlyforthebaddest.com, on myspace and find me on facebook

Kathleen:

Your tag line says Bad Clothes for Bad Girls and can you tell me about the line only for the baddest?”

Samantha:

only for the baddest is about uplifting women to be the best they can be in an edgy way. Bad is not bad meaning bad but bad meaning good. A bad girl is one that does not conform to the norms of society and pushes beyond expectations.

Kathleen:

Where do you think your bold sense of confidence comes from?

Samantha:

I never really thought about where my confidence came from. I just know I am in control of my own fate so whatever i do can effect my future and I make decisions according to that. I set goals for myself, both short term and long term and then I set out to accomplish them. That way I am continually challenging myself to grow.

Kathleen:

Any final message for young girls who might be looking up to you?

Samantha:

My message to young girls is to not let other people influence the aspirations they have for their future. More often than not very talented young girls are influenced to do things to satisfy other people, when they should be focused on satisfying themselves. I want girls to know that if you stick to your goals you will achieve them, and let your haters be your motivators.

Samantha Ferguson is certainly someone to watch and follow - so why not follow her on Twitter? @Donnaccia2bad



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Posted in Coaching | Personal Power | Risk-Taking | Self-Confidence |
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Don’t Wait to Be Great – Do it Be it in 2008

 January 1, 2008 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Let’s face it; New Year’s resolutions just don’t work. Why? Some might say it’s because they were drunk when them made them! But the truth is, most resolutions fail because they focus on everything we don’t like about ourselves. This is the year I’m going to lose twenty pounds, join a gym, get organized, quit smoking… and the list goes on and on.

So this year, instead of making another lame claim about what you’re going to do, or instead of focusing on what you didn’t accomplish last year, why not just stake a claim to be great – and then take action on it.

I recently saw the movie, “The Bucket List.” Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman play characters that are both dying of cancer and they made a list of things they want to do before they kicked the bucket.

Well, in January 1990, probably before some my teen readers were even born, I made my own “bucket list” and wrote down 100 things I wanted to do before I died. I took a look at that list and picked one thing that I could do that day – I wrote to Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold had just been appointed Chairman of the President’s Council of Physical Fitness and Sports under the first Bush administration. I admired him for his vision, his leadership and for his courage to go for it. I sent my letter off to the White House, not knowing if he’d ever read it or receive it. But just the act of doing it gave me the courage to try more new things.

That one act set off a chain of events that led me to where I am right now in my career. I just did it. I had no idea that six months after sending that letter I would receive a letter from Arnold praising me and encouraging me in my work with youth. At my very first New England Speakers Association meeting, I told that story and received my very first standing ovation. Then just six months later, I was chosen to represent New England at the National Speakers Association’s annual conference and received a scholarship to attend and got to tell it again to an even bigger audience. Since then, I have told that story to thousands of people and inspired them to take action in their own lives.

There’s an old proverb about three frogs sitting on a lily pad. One decides to jump off. How many frogs are left?

There are still three frogs on the lily pad. One only made a decision to jump.

The universe rewards action. What is one thing you can do today that would have a dramatic effect on your health, well-being or quality of your life?

Why not make your own list of everything you want to accomplish before you die. Then pick one thing – anything, big or small and do it today. Go skydiving or dare to tell someone how you really feel. It doesn’t matter what you do, but you just have to do something.

From Terminator to Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger says “The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.”
Don’t wait; you could be just one step away from greatness. Don’t just make a decision – do it.



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