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Being Different Can Be A Blessing - The True Story of Rudolph

December 24, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty apartment window into the chilling December night.

His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bob’s wife, Evelyn, was dying of cancer Little Barbara couldn’t understand why her mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad’s eyes and asked, “Why isn’t Mommy just like everybody else’s Mommy?” Bob’s jaw tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob’s life. Life always had to be different for Bob.

Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he’d rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all short-lived. Evelyn’s bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938.

Bob struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn’t even afford to buy a Christmas gift. But if he couldn’t buy a gift, he was determined to make one - a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and told the animal’s story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope. Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling. Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob finished the book just in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story doesn’t end there.

The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book. Wards went on to print, Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer and distribute it to children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph. That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards to print an updated version of the book.

In an unprecedented gesture of kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book became a best seller. Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his grieving daughter. But the story doesn’t end there either.

Bob’s brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah Shore, it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success, selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of White Christmas.

The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn’t so bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.

Happy Holidays! Celebrate who you are and give the world the gift of YOU!

** note ** I did not write this story, it was sent to me from a friend in an email and I just had to share it with you!

Stay Where You Are - So I Can Feel Safe

December 20, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

There’s a certain sense of security and camaraderie in the struggle of life. But what happens when someone decides to let go of the struggle and step into the joy and flow of life? Do people like you better when you play it safe and play the victim of circumstances?

When someone decides to step out of the role they’ve been playing and makes a bold move towards change, you’d think that everyone would stand up and cheer! But more often then not, people try to put you back where they think you belong so they can feel safe. Misery loves company is an expression that, although few of us would admit, really does make us feel a little bit better about our own lives if someone else is struggling right along with us.

The Mobile Effect

Imagine everyone in your family and all of your closest friends are all hanging on a mobile. No matter how functional or dysfunctional each individual or family unit may be, each person keeps the entire structure in balance. But when one dares to take themselves off the hook and opts for something different - even if that something different is fabulous - everyone feels the shift and the whole unit is off kilter and out of whack.

The good news is that everyone will eventually find a new sense of balance. The bad news is that the time in between can sometimes send the bold adventurer, who disrupted the status quo, clambering back into old patterns and habits of people pleasing while putting themselves back on the hook!

I recently made such a bold move in my own life and am living out my wildest dreams! I relocated my life and business to Naples, Florida and I’m having the time of my life. I’ve been amazed, but not surprised by some of the comments I’ve received from family and friends:
- you bitch!
- must be nice
- we get it - you’re happy
- I’m ignoring your posts on Facebook - they’re way too positive
- how come your life is so serene and I can barely get through the day?

Sometimes I’ve found myself holding back so I don’t come off as bragging. Then I remember the quote by Marianne Williamson from her book “A Return to Love,” Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. Then I remember that I’ve been here before and that this too shall pass. I’ve been on a healing and spiritual journey for the last 20 years and I’ve had a lot of practice in letting go and trusting the guidance of God. I know that following that inner guidance is what truly serves the world and I’m willing to step into the unknown and light the way for others.

If the opinions of others have kept you stuck where you are, if you’ve been dreaming about making a change in your life - be it a bold, life-altering move, or a tiny shift in your daily habits or routines, one of the best ways to step confidently in the direction of your dreams is to create a strong support system around you.

Create a Strong Support System

Here are a few ways to get the support you need to make your move and make your mark on the world:

- Start a Mastermind Group. Gather up 4-6 people who are all ready to step boldly in the direction of their dreams. Commit to meet regularly to brainstorm ideas, encourage and cheer each other on and hold each other accountable for action items.

- Find a Goal Buddy. Establish a partnership and commitment with one person who shares similar goals as you, such as - getting in shape, writing a book, quitting smoking, etc.

- Join a 12-Step Recovery Group. It’s not only alcoholics who work the 12 steps. There are recovery groups for over-eaters, over-spenders, gamblers, sex-addicts and co-dependents. Join a group, go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the 12 steps.

- Hire a Coach! A coach is like a personal trainer for the mind and will help you gain clarity and focus to direct your thoughts towards your goals and away from what you don’t want.

The Only One Who Likes Change is a Wet Baby!

Change doesn’t have to be as hard or scary. The right support around you - to hold your hand and cheer you on - will remind you that you are safe and powerful.

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes!

Are you ready to take a baby step or a giant leap in the direction of your dreams? Maybe you’d like to…

=> start a business
=> find new love
=> get a new career (or a raise)
=> lose weight
=> get your child(ren) to behave better
=> or build your self-esteem & self-confidence

No matter what you’d like to change or achieve, the secrets to success are the same…

#1: Get clear. As specifically as possible, decide what you want. The more clear you are on what you want to have in your life, the more likely you are to achieve it.

#2: Get perspective. Most people don’t tell anyone what they want or what they are struggling with and because of that they don’t get an outside perspective.

#3: Get support. Very few people (if any) achieve anything great alone. Sports stars have teammates and coaches. Be willing to ask the people in your life to support you.

As my holiday gift to you, I am offering a substantial discount on a one hour Laser Coaching Session. Sessions typically cost $150, but by using the Discount Code GRACE during checkout, you’ll pay only $100—that’s a 33% savings! AND as an added bonus, if you decide to continue with ongoing monthly coaching, I will apply that $100 towards your first month of coaching!

In our coaching session we’ll work together to…  

=> Create a crystal clear vision for ‘ultimate success’ so you know exactly what you want, where you’re headed, and what you need to do to make it happen.
  => Uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your ability to make changes that last or that are slowing down your progress  
=> Leave this session renewed, re-energized, and inspired to finally achieve the change you seek- once and for all 

If you’re ready to make 2012 your best year yet… click here to purchase your Laser Coaching Session NOW!

Happy Holidays & Here’s to becoming Your Very Best YOU!

I’m not bragging… but here’s what living your dreams looks and feels like!!!

Jess Weiner & The E.F. Hutton Effect: When You Talk Is Anyone Listening?

August 16, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

E. F. Hutton & Co. was a stock brokerage company founded in 1904 and was best known for its commercials in the 1970s and 1980s based on the phrase, “When E. F. Hutton talks, people listen.”

I’m sure every blogger can relate to the scene from the movie Julie & Julia when Julie, in the early stages of writing her blog asks “Is anyone listening?” Social media has changed the way we communicate and it sometimes feels like everyone is competing for air time - tweeting, posting and sharing our lives, thoughts, accomplishments and viewpoints with the world.

Last week, this played out in a big way when Jess Weiner’s article ran in Glamour Magazine. The title alone was provocative enough to cause quite a stir “Jess Weiner’s Weight Struggle: ‘Loving My Body Almost Killed Me,’” and the HAES (Health At Every Size), ED (Eating Disorders) and Positive Body Image Community all “weighed in” with comments, tweets, blog posts and status updates. Some were supportive and congratulatory on Jess’s courage, vulnerability and decision to put her health first, while others ripped her apart for the mixed message she was sending to a community that looked to her as a leader.

Although temped, I did not immediately add my voice to the mix. Instead, I sat back and observed what was happening and used that time to check my motives carefully. I realized that part of my initial reaction was - dare I admit it? Envy! There I said it. When Jess Weiner talks - people listen. You may not like what she had to say, but she has opened the door for amazing dialogue and for me, she created another giant opportunity to really turn within and pay attention to my own feelings and reactions. In other words - to listen to myself.

In my desire to be heard, to have a voice, to be acknowledged and recognized, I have come to understand that even if the whole world was waiting with baited breath to hear the next utterance that came out of my mouth - none of it - not one bit of it matters unless I take the time to truly listen to myself. As an advocate for healthy self-esteem and empowerment for teen girls and young women, I know I can’t give what I don’t have inside to offer. Like Abraham Lincoln acknowledged, “You can’t help the poor by becoming one of them,” likewise, I can’t help girls by acting like one or by relying on my old knee-jerk patterns of behavior.

It occurred to me, in watching the drama unfold in the blogosphere last week, that many of those who reacted and commented on the article, were also trying to be heard and vie for airtime with a well-placed link back to their own blogs. Ironically it’s this need to be heard, acknowledged and accepted that is at the root of many of our addictive behaviors and the greatest thing that could come out of all of this would be that we all begin to see that we are the ones who need to listen and approve of ourselves. Blaming Jess Weiner, or anyone else for that matter, is symptomatic of the lack of taking responsibility for our own lives. Whenever anyone is triggering something in me - it’s always me and my own thoughts that I need to look at.

I am in no way diminishing the seriousness of an eating disorder and as a woman in recovery, I know firsthand the challenges of healing from an addiction. But thankfully because of my recovery, I also know that whenever I am pointing the finger at anyone else, there are always three more pointing right back at me! It is only when I take full responsibility for my own thoughts and understand that I am the one who has created my own reality by the power of my thoughts - regardless of external circumstances - only then can I begin to transform and heal. Believing that one woman, by sharing her own experience has the power to damage an entire social movement is the epitome of giving away your own power.

In this new, ever-changing frontier of social media, where we get our sense of approval and acknowledgment from the “like” button, it is important to remember to hit the “like” button for ourselves. Now more than ever before, as our outreach becomes wider and the world becomes smaller due to our social networks, it is vital to turn within and take the time to listen to your own inner voice, guidance and truth. Otherwise, we are just adding more noise to an already very noisy world.

I personally want to thank Jess Weiner for providing me with a huge opportunity to pause, go within, check my motives and ask for guidance. This article was the result of that and came from a deep place inside of me. It may never reach the masses, but what is most important is that I took the time to listen to me - and that is recovery. I no longer need the whole world’s approval to feel good about me. I have also learned in my healing journey that whatever we resist persists and that what we push against just gets stronger. So today I am simply going to pray for those still suffering with any kind of addiction and for those still stuck in blaming others for how they feel. I have witnessed firsthand, and therefore will never doubt, the power of prayer, yet I also know that faith without works is dead. There is more work to be done - but it always begins within.

Let me be the first to “like” this! When Kathleen Hassan talks - I listen!

Wouldn’t It Be Cool: How to Effortlessly Manifest & Attract What You Want

July 27, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Six days a week, I set my alarm for the crack of dawn and attend a 7:00am meditation meeting. I’ve never been an early bird and yet this particular discipline that I have been developing and strengthening for the last six months or so has been nothing short of life-changing. Beginning my day grounded in silence, in union with other like-minded individuals, coming together to connect and improve our conscious contact with the God of our understanding sets the tone for the kind of day I want to have.

Every day when I come home from this gathering, I sit in my car and just observe the goings on in my yard. There is a chipmunk who sits on the wall in the exact same spot every morning, as if that is his little sacred space and the way he starts his day! Sometimes there are bunnies in the yard and always a variety of birds pecking away at the newly seeded grass my husband just planted!

The other day I pulled into my driveway and thought to myself Wouldn’t it be cool to see a mother deer with her baby deer. It was just a random thought, realizing that I hadn’t seen any deer in the yard yet this year. Last year I saw 5 or 6 of them quite frequently. I thought nothing more about it and just went on about my day.

At 2:30pm, I was on the phone with a coaching client. She was describing in detail her frustration about something that had not yet manifested in her life and I was doing my best to teach her about vibration and how the Universe answers us according to our dominant thoughts and vibrational offerings. In other words, if you’re focused on the fact that your desire has not shown up yet - that is what your thoughts create - more of the same results and you will continue to attract that same effect so long as you continue to focus on the lack of whatever it is that you’ve been wanting.

All of a sudden, I glanced out the window and there in my yard was a mother deer and her baby. I gasped and nearly fell off my chair and my poor client wasn’t sure what the heck was happening to me! I grabbed my camera and tried to capture this amazing moment, but only managed to snap a picture of the mother deer’s ass as she scampered off into the woods! Alas, I googled this shot and cannot take the credit for this (but swear it looked exactly the way I saw them in my yard!!)

God’s divine timing was absolute perfection. I could not have come up with a better example to explain the power of our thoughts had I searched every self-help book and googled every website for how this stuff works!

This is how it works!

Thoughts become things!! Like cell phone waves that magically and wirelessly transmit text messages to your phone - your thoughts create vibrations that get transmitted out into the Universe and that which is likened unto itself is drawn. However, our thoughts are filtered through our habits, beliefs and judgments about those thoughts. So even if you’re thinking about a particular goal and oftentimes to the point of obsessing over that wish, dream or desire, you are probably vibrating more towards the lack of it than you are the having of it.

The Universe is perfect and will deliver unto you exactly what you’re asking for - wanted or not! The reason that I am finally understanding this myself is because the more I quiet my mind with this daily practice of meditation, the more I align my thoughts with the energy of love, peace and the power of God, the more I effortlessly attract more of the same back to me! And that’s how it works - every single time - without exception.

The reason those deer showed up in my yard was because my thoughts and vibration held no ulterior motive or judgment about what it would mean to have a deer with her baby show up in my yard. I just thought it would be cool to see that and VOILA!! the Universe responded.

There is no level of complexity or difficulty for God or the Universe to deliver unto you whatever it is you desire - it is your belief or judgment about the difficulty or your worthiness about receiving it is what blocks the manifestation.

Lots of people struggle with the notion of doing God’s will and think that means that they will have to abandon their goals and dreams to live a life of indentured servitude. I have come to believe and intuitively know and trust that God’s will for me is pure joy. When I hold onto the belief that when I publish the book, make a million dollars, lose the weight… (fill in the blank with your own blah, blah, blah), then I’ll be happy - I am actually sending out a vibration of forever striving - and that is exactly what will keep showing up in my life. When I let go of how I think that joy is supposed to come to me and allow myself to be fully present in the moment - I am always surprised and joyful in how simple it is to co-create a life I love.

Take Action Challenge:

The next time you have a desire, try detaching from the outcome, stop obsessing about how you’re gonna get it and just focus on the joy it will bring you to have it. Try saying “Wouldn’t it be cool to…” and just get in the feel good feelings of how much fun it will be to see that in your life. That is the energy of everyday miracles and that is exactly how you effortlessly manifest the life of your dreams!

Posted in Law of Attraction | Personal Power | Spirituality | Trust |
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What If You Knew You Couldn’t Fail?

July 11, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Imagine if you knew in advance that you’d already won and that nothing you could do - or not do would change that. Imagine how different your approach to life would be. Your attitude and perspective would be so dramatically shifted from the way it is right now. You’d play more and worry less. You’d see challenges as opportunities to be creative. You would no longer be driven by the self-centered fear of not being good enough because you’d already know that you are enough.

Well, guess what? You’ve already won! You already are enough! For you were created in the image and likeness of God. Within you lies the changeless and eternal truth that you are one with your Creator. Our only purpose here is to awaken to the truth of that and let go of the illusion that we are anything less than the love and light of God. Our job is to allow God to fully manifest all that He is through us. We are already all that, we simply need to remember that and stop resisting and clinging to who we think we are.

Everything is Possible

Years ago I heard Benjamin Zander, Conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, Teacher at the New England Conservatory of Music and author of “The Art of Possibility” speak at a Toastmasters Convention. He shared a revolutionary approach to teaching music in that at the beginning of each semester, he gave all of his students an A and then had them imagine what they could do with music knowing they had already succeeded in the class.

When he first proposed this far-out concept, many of his foreign students just could not accept that they didn’t have to work hard to earn the A. Eventually, he got them all to see how the struggling to achieve actually blocked the flow of creativity and prohibited them from fully expressing and creating music from their divine source of power within. The results were astounding and since that time, his concept and miraculous approach to creating music became the book “The Art of Possibility” and has catapulted Zander onto the stage as an in-demand presenter at conferences all over the world.

I’m Not Lost… I’m Exploring

Jana Stanfield is a gifted singer, songwriter and inspirational speaker who travels the world giving her Keynote Concerts. I first met Jana over 15 years ago at my very first National Speakers Association Conference. We met in passing on the trade show floor and she handed me a bumper sticker that said “I’m not lost… I’m exploring” and it totally changed my perspective from that moment on. I realized that I was on a spiritual journey and that I wasn’t lost, that it was OK not to know and that it was safe to trust that I was being guided to my truth.

Now imagine how different your life would be if you knew that you weren’t lost and that you were being guided every step of the way. Try that on for size and see if you can feel your body letting go of some fear and struggle. You’ve already won. You’ve already got the A. So what would you explore today, knowing that you can’t get it wrong?

One of my all-time favorite Jana Stanfield songs is “If I Were Brave.” Recently Jana put out a request on FaceBook to submit pictures of a time when we were being really brave. I submitted a picture of me swinging through the air with the (not so) greatest of ease on the flying trapeze and Jana selected it to be in her music video!!

Here are some of the lyrics of the song. Take some time today and answer some of the questions she poses;

“If I Were Brave” - Jana Stanfield

What would I do, if I knew that I could not fail? 
If I believed, would the wind always fill up my sail? 
How far would I go? What could I achieve, 
trusting the hero in me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,
 where fools and dreamers dare to tread. 
I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way.
 What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave? 
What would I do today, if I were brave?

What if we’re all meant to do what we secretly dream? 
What would you ask, if you knew you could have anything?
 Like the mighty oak sleeps, in the heart of a seed, 
are there miracles in you and me?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge, 
where fools and dreamers dare to tread.
 I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way. 
What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave?
 What would I do today, if I were brave?

If I refuse to listen to the voice of fear, 
would the voice of courage whisper in my ear?

If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge, 
where fools and dreamers dare to tread. 
I’d never lose faith, even when losing my way. 
What step would I take today, if I were brave?

What would I do today, if I were brave? 
What would I do today, if I were brave?

And now… Here is her music video starring me!! (watch the whole thing and be totally inspired… but just make sure you watch me at 3:54!)

You’ve already won & you cannot fail! Go for it!!

I’m Having So Much Fun - A Lesson in FREEDOM

January 2, 2011 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Yesterday I went for a New Year’s Day walk through my local park. The sun was shining and the temp was a balmy 50 something degrees which was such a gift for January in New England!

As I walked, I prayed for freedom from my own self-limiting thoughts. I prayed for my complete awakening to the truth of who I am - the beloved child of God; holy, whole and at one with God and everyone.

On my way out of the park, I ran into my next door neighbors who stood at the base of a snowy hill watching their two grown daughters and their six precious granddaughters sledding and snow tubing down the slope.

As I stood there watching, I became filled with an experience of pure bliss and in that holy moment I knew this was His answer to my prayer. I was totally at one with the joy and love of that beautiful family.

It was such a simple lesson in the power of intention and deciding what I want to experience. I chose the peace and love of God and that is what I saw before me.

As I turned to leave the park, one of the little girls stood at the top of the hill and shouted at the top of her lungs, “I’M HAVING SO MUCH FUN!” I cracked up laughing at the sheer genius of that statement and once again I knew that I just got another answer to that prayer for freedom and in that moment I WAS FREE!

Try staying in worry, fear, anger and depression while proclaiming “I’M HAVING SO MUCH FUN!” You can’t. Go ahead, try it! What have you got to lose?

Teachers come in all shapes and sizes and sometimes in our search for Obi Wan Kanobie-esque gurus, we can miss the little souls on a mission for our healing and salvation.

This year, I resolve to proclaim daily I’M HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!!

Buh-Bye to What No Longer Serves Me

December 31, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

December 31st is just another day. It happens to fall on a Friday this year. Yet it seems as if the whole world is busy prepping for the BIG NIGHT as resolutions are made and check lists of things to fix about ourselves grow longer. We resolve to be better, happier, thinner, richer, more successful as we strive to become who we think we’re supposed to be.

This year I resolve to simply love and accept myself - just the way I am. I also made a list of things that just no longer serve me and was now ready and willing to let go. Surprisingly, that list grew to almost 40 items that I was just so totally done with.

December 21st was the perfect moment to have a sacred cleansing and releasing ceremony. It was as if the cosmos had aligned just for me to carry my petition to heaven; the Winter Solstice, a full moon and a lunar eclipse all converged to carry my message to God.

My husband built a bonfire in our outdoor fire pit and I burned my list and offered up a prayer that was lifted up in the ashes and smoke to be transformed.

Since that moment, I have felt lighter and more at peace within myself. I have shared this with my coaching clients and all of them wanted a copy of my list to jumpstart their own.

Most resolutions fail because they are based upon the illusion of lack. When I lose ten pounds, when I quit smoking, when I get the raise/promotion/guy/publishing contract. You are already whole and worthy - there is no thing that can add or detract from that. But you will never, ever know the peace and love of God with the thought system that is based upon lack or desire - thinking and believing that you need to get something in order to be valued and valuable. You already are all of that and more.

There is a Zen proverb that says “Knowledge is learning something every day. Wisdom is letting go of something every day.” The only knowledge that I am intentionally seeking is to know the truth of who I am and from that, to fully know the peace and love of God.

Here are a few things that I’m letting go;

comparing myself to others
unworthiness
listening to the voice of ego
putting too much emphasis or care about what others think of me
blame, guilt and shame
judgment
scarcity
limitations
worry
jealousy and envy
not accepting myself - just the way I am

It’s so simple - but simple doesn’t mean easy. It takes effort and great willingness to constantly be watching our thoughts and choose again. The good news is that we are not alone and there is always help available when we ask for guidance for the next right thought, step or action.

The greatest gift you can give to the world is not you being 10 pounds thinner, but rather you deciding to seek only the truth about who you are, stepping into your authentic power and shining your light.

Happy New Year… and a Happy New YOU! Now THAT is something to celebrate!!

Posted in Coaching | Personal Power | Self-Confidence | Spirituality |
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Confidence Tip: Avoid the Comparison Trap

September 20, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Warning! Falling into the comparison trap can keep you stuck and trapped in a prison of your own making. Comparing yourself to others sets you up for a lifetime of lack. It is the energy of scarcity and will leave you always wanting more; never satisfied, never feeling good enough.

Stop comparing your insides to someone else’s outsides. You never know, the girl with the new Louis Vuitton bag might be dying inside. If someone has something or some quality that you admire or wish you had, instead of getting jealous simply say, “That’s for me!” When you switch your energy from envy to intention, You become a magnet and actually attract more great things into your life.

“Comparison is a thief of joy.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

Confidence Tip: Practice Positive Self-Talk

September 14, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Do you talk to yourself? If you’re sitting there wondering “Do I talk to myself?” Then the answer is, YES! You just did it! Pay attention to the messages you give to yourself and be your own BFF. Talk to yourself the way you wish others would speak to you.

If you catch yourself saying something negative, consciously tell yourself to stop and then replace that thought with a more positive and empowering statement such as “I am enough - just the way I am” or “I matter,” “I am loved and lovable.”

We teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. You want love? Start loving yourself.

Affirmations are positive statements in the present tense spoken as if they are already achieved. When practiced and repeated over time, these positive statements become new beliefs which effect our behavior and attitude and we then begin to see different results.

Louise Hay has been teaching about the power of affirmations for more than 25 years. In her latest book, “Experience Your Good Now: Learning to Use Affirmations, Louise explains, when you use affirmations, you’re really saying to your subconscious mind: “I am taking responsibility. I am aware that there is something I can do to change.”

Louise Hay with Kathleen at Hay House Movers & Shakers Conference

Many of us have been conditioned from an early age to believe that we are unworthy or undeserving of a fabulous life. Don’t believe those lies. Take charge of your own mind and learn how to harness and utilize the power of your own thoughts to create a life that you love.

To receive your free mp3 audio download of Affirmations for Transformation, simply fill out the form below.

Download your FREE mp3 audio program ~ Confidence Power Thoughts: Affirmations for Transformation

Girls and Guidance

February 8, 2010 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

A week doesn’t go by without receiving an email (or several) from girls desperately looking for guidance. The details of their stories may differ, but the essence of each request is exactly the same: “Please help!” Help me figure out if I should tell this guy how I feel… Help me learn how to be more confident around other people… Help me figure out what my next step should be… Help me get along better with my mom.

There was a time when I would personally answer each request and offer suggestions about how they might move through their challenge. This could easily have turned into a full time job if I let it, so I decided to reach more girls who might be going through the very same challenges by posting my responses on my blog or by creating videos on YouTube. Not only would I be helping more girls, but I was also setting gentle boundaries for myself so that I didn’t feel so obligated to personally respond to every single cry for help.

As much as I love hearing from these girls, what I love even more is to empower and teach them how to turn inward and trust their own inner guidance for their next right step or direction so they won’t have to keep looking outside of themselves for their answers. It reminds me of the Chinese proverb, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

Call it intuition, divine guidance, an inner voice or simply a quiet knowing, each of us has the ability to access a source of wisdom that will lead us to the next right step. Learning how to access it and then trust it is something that requires both practice and patience.

Here are some steps you can take to begin to make that connection and tap into your own inner guidance.

Develop a daily practice of sitting still and quieting your mind.

Carve out five to ten minutes each day to just be. Make this time sacred by lighting a candle, listening to soft music and focusing on your breathing. You may not notice any immediate answers or see any dramatic changes at first. After you’ve been practicing and developing this habit for awhile, it will begin to have a cumulative effect and you will start to notice a clarity of mind and your answers will come to you as a hunch or in a flash of inspiration. An additional step to making this practice stick is to actually have an uncluttered sacred space to practice your daily ritual.

Get in the habit of writing in a diary or journal either every morning or evening.

In Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way,” she recommends writing morning pages to get the creative juices flowing. She asks you to commit to writing 3 pages each day. In the beginning you may just be writing things like “how the heck am I going to fill up three whole pages?”, but eventually the words will begin to flow. Once you get the hang of it, you can write out a question and then like magic, guidance will spill out onto the page.

Ask for divine guidance.

Develop a relationship with your own concept of a higher power and then have a conversation and ask for help. Many christians live their lives and receive their next right step by asking WWJD? or What Would Jesus Do? If you were brought up in a different faith you can simply ask the question, “What would love do?” To me that means the very same thing because I believe that God is love and when you align your actions with love, then you can never go wrong and your answer will come from the ultimate authority and source of all truth.

Here are a few important reminders as well as the benefits to receiving guidance:

Don’t try to solve big problems all at once.

All you need to do is look for the next right step and then take action on that guidance. It’s like driving in the dark with only your headlights to light your way. You can’t see the final destination, and yet you get there by seeing only the next 200 feet in front of you.

Pay attention to the signals your body is sending you.

We each have our own built-in GPS system that lets us know when we’re off course. If something doesn’t feel right to you, then it probably isn’t the right choice for you.

You have to stay alert when you’re seeking guidance.

It will show up in all sorts of ways and you could miss it if you’re not noticing the signs along the way. One of the benefits of practicing the suggestions mentioned above is that you develop what is known as mindfulness as you become fully engaged and take an active role in the creation of a fabulous life instead of letting life happen to you.

Adolescence is about learning to take responsibility (response ability). In other words, developing the ability to respond to whatever happens and to deal with it by making your own decisions. Probably the biggest payoff to developing your own internal guidance system is that along the way, you start to strengthen your own inner trust muscles and the result is self-confidence. An added bonus to that is when you start to trust yourself then others begin to trust you too. How cool would it be if instead of complaining that your parents don’t trust you to make good decisions, you could effortlessly gain their trust by practicing these few simple steps.

Remember, there’s nothing wrong with asking for advice. But never take that advice without first running it through your own internal guidance system to make sure it’s the next right step for you.

There are lots of free downloads available on my site to help you connect to your own guidance, as well as some cd’s and mp3’s you can purchase that will also help you learn how to harness the power of your mind to create a life you love!

NOTE: In my next blog post, I’ll be delving deeper into the topic of divine guidance and angelic assistance. One girl recently asked me how she could connect to her “angles and sprite guides.” Spelling, structure and grammar aside, I was thrilled that she wanted to learn more about her “angels and spirit guides” in an effort to connect to her own inner wisdom and truth.

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