Daring to Disagree: Taking the Sting Out of Queen Bees & Wannabees

 January 28, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

For most of my life, I was a people pleaser; afraid to rock the boat and speak my truth. But thankfully because I walk my talk and practice what I preach, I have dared to go deep within and have found my voice and my true power. As a result, I am no longer willing to acquiesce to the opinion or acclaimed wisdom of others when I just don’t agree – even if that other person is a best-selling author and her book was the basis of a hit movie.

I recently attended a program by the author of Queen Bees & Wannabees who spoke about girls and bullying. I walked out of the auditorium feeling uneasy and the energy in the room was palpably heavy. The woman I went with, who also works in this field, took voracious notes and loved it. I wrestled with these feelings for days and then about a week later it hit me – I just do not agree with this woman’s approach and I believe that if we keep focusing on the “reality” or the problem, we’re only going to attract more of the same back to us. I believe we need to shift our focus back to the cause (the mind/heart/spirit of girls) rather than focusing on the effect (mean girls and bullying) or things will never change.

I feel like I’m taking on Goliath as everyone made such a big deal over this author, paid her big bucks and her book was what the movie “Mean Girls” was based upon. This is an entire culture that has bought into this fear-based “reality.” As a matter of fact, the speaker, Rosalind Wiseman’s opening comment was “We live in a fear-based culture.” Duh, tell me something I don’t know.

I do believe that Ms. Wiseman is making an impact and her book has shed a light on the issues that so many girls face in our culture and society. In her talk she said that she doesn’t really care whether people like her or not, but that her hope was that her program will get people talking. I’ll give her credit for that because she certainly got me thinking and talking about it.

But I guess for me, the most valuable thing that has come out of this experience has been the realization of how, for most of my life, I have cared too much about whether or not people like me. The good news is that finally I have learned to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about me and care more deeply about what I think. And as long as I stay connected to God and continually ask for His divine guidance, well then that’s all that really matters.

I was nudged by God to dare to write this article. My hope is that it will help girls become aware of how much they care about what others think about them and then to inspire them to go deeper, to connect to their higher power and their highest self and discover their own truth.

So how do you do that? You start by slowing down and learning how to quiet your mind. Our busy mind chatter is like static on an old fashioned radio. When you practice being still, focusing on your breath and quieting down your thoughts, it’s as if you’ve turned your dial, adjusted your station and tuned into the channel that allows you to receive the transmission that leads to your truth.

There’s no law that says you have to tune in, but unless you do, you will be forever looking outside of yourself for your answers and thinking that everyone knows more, has more, is more than you – and you will never be enough.

The answers you seek are inside of you… and your truth will set you free. Because only then will you dare to disagree and by doing so you bless both you and me.



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Posted in Self-Esteem | Teen Girls | Trust |
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