Teen Girls: Getting the Love You Need

 February 10, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

I can still remember the year my mother forgot to buy my Valentine’s cards for the class. I stayed up late to make my own out of pink and red construction paper and then attempted to decorate a Kleenex box with paper doilies. I walked into school with a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat knowing full well that my efforts at cutting and pasting would pale in comparison to everyone else’s store-bought heart-shaped cards with adorable sayings like “puppy love” and “hey cutie pie.” To this day I can remember those feelings of being less than and just wanting to be liked and noticed.

Valentine’s Day, a day in February that is supposed to represent love, for many represents the exact opposite. It’s actually been dubbed “Singles Awareness Day” by those who have been made to feel less than because they don’t have “that special someone” to give or receive a Valentine.

The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. That’s a lot of love.

So where is the love?

Many of today’s teens are struggling with the exact same emotions of wanting to be liked and noticed but if you don’t happen to be one of those lucky billion who actually receive one of those “Be Mine Valentine” messages this year, it can feel pretty crummy. But love is not an emotion to be reserved for one day out of the year, nor is it something to be rationed out only to certain people.

Want to be and feel a part of this billion dollar love fest? Here are a few strategies to be your own Valentine.

Become attractive! Start treating yourself the way you want that someone special to treat you. As Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.” Attracting love into your life starts by developing the attraction factor from the inside out. Self-confidence is sexy because when you look like you don’t need ‘em is when they come flocking to you!

Rid yourself of jealousy. Stop focusing on what you don’t have and start appreciating the gifts in your life. Jealousy is one of the lowest and most negative energies and actually attracts more scarcity and lack back to you. Gratitude, along with joy and love is the highest frequency and the most powerful energy on Earth and being in that state attracts more love back to you.

Learn to love and accept yourself – just the way you are. Knowing that you’re worthy and deserving of only the best is an important part of building your own self-esteem. We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves and unconditional love has to begin with you through self-love.

One of the most famous quotes about self-love is by Marianne Williamson from her book, A Return to Love…”Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world.”

This year pay less attention to the whole “Be Mine” frenzy and focus all your efforts to “Be YOU.” Who are you? You are one in a billion and there is no one quite like you – Valentine!

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Posted in Character Development | Dating & Relationships | Life Skills | Self-Confidence | Teen Girls |
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Parents & Teens: Is it OK to Snoop on Your Child?

 February 1, 2009 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

My friend and colleague, Robert Siciliano is an expert on Personal Security and is often called upon by the media to share his insights regarding Identity Theft and Credit Card fraud. But I just received an email from Robert announcing that tomorrow 2/2/09 he’ll be on the Tyra Banks Show to teach Moms how to successfully snoop on their teen daughters!

Below is Robert’s announcement and I‘ll weigh in my comments after watching the show. I’ve highlighted the text that resonates with me and my gut reaction is that if you get to the point that you need to snoop, then you haven’t spent enough time developing your own inner trust muscles. As within, so it is without. In other words, what ever you’re seeing outside of yourself is a direct reflection of what is going on inside of you.

“Monday 2/2 the Tyra Banks show “Mom Police” Featuring Robert Siciliano features moms who go to extremes to spy on their kids! These snoopy moms admit to reading their girls’ diaries and going through their cell phones and personal things. Plus, one mom wants to know where her child is at all times — and secretly plants a tracking device on her!Like all daytime talk, its a tad sensational, and done well. What parent hasn’t snooped on their child at some point? I know my parents did, for good reason!!

Some moms simply search draws and closets, others interrogate and pat down. And with advances in snooping technology, many parents are installing computer monitoring software, tracking kids on GPS cell phones and others are monitoring their child’s text messages either remotely or right on the phone bill.

Snooping is done to protect the child from themselves, from others, and to give the parent peace of mind.

My role is to demonstrate various snooping technologies. I walk a mom through a few tools to monitor her somewhat out of control 15 year old daughter.

There may be a lack of trust, paranoia, fear, or good reason to snoop on your kids. Sometimes parents who fear, use love as an excuse to snoop. Either way, there seems to be a breach of trust between parent and child when snooping occurs (or when the child finds out).

My children are young, so I have no need to snoop. Will I? Neither you or my child will ever know. wink ~ Unless of course my child snoops on me and I end up on Tyra.

If you are a parent and have time to Tivo or watch live, I think you find this to be entertaining and educational as well.”

Keep Out Diary
Keep Out!

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Posted in Parents | Self-Esteem | Trust |
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