Everybody’s Doing It – Why Not Middle Schoolers?

 October 25, 2007 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

Birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it…

But Middle Schoolers? Say it isn’t so.

When songwriter Cole Porter penned his memorable lyrics in 1928 he was talking about “falling in love” not “making love.” Apparently peer pressure was a factor even back then as the song implies, everyone is “doing it” so why shouldn’t we do it too. 

Fast forward eighty years and peer pressure, although still a factor, isn’t the only pressure on today’s teens and tweens. Thanks to the hormones in our food and milk supply, girls are developing at a much earlier age. Thanks to our image-obsessed and sexually permissive culture, girls are apparently “doing it” at a much earlier age also.

Middle Schools in Baltimore and Seattle are “doing it” and now Portland Maine is joining in. The New York Times reported that on October 18, 2007, the Portland Maine School Board approved, in a 10-2 vote, a proposal by the Portland Division of Public Health which would allow children as young as 11 to have access to the birth control pill and patch without parental notification.

“Obviously we want to prevent our babies from having babies. But these schools are missing the boat on what kind of programs they should be offering these kids. Sex is complicated enough – even for most adults, many who have spent years in therapy trying to make sense of their own sexual excursions of adolescence. Giving eleven year olds birth control is just any easy way out of a very complicated issue.” says Self-Esteem Expert and Teen Life Coach, Kathleen Hassan.

Hassan, who has been delivering programs to teens and tweens for the last decade on self-esteem and empowerment, says “schools need to be proactive – not reactive, and develop programs that foster self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect. We need to teach our kids how to connect to their inner-most power and help them to understand the sacredness of their bodies, minds and spirits. Anything less is just putting a bandage on a cancerous wound, and the ripple effect will be far worse than just kids having sex, as depression, addiction and suicide rates will no doubt escalate for these children.”

###

Kathleen Hassan’s Parenting Tips for Building High Self-Esteem in Your Pre-Teen Daughter

  • Have “the talk” now. Don’t wait for your daughter to learn about sex from her peers or from the school mandated sex-ed program. Give her plenty of opportunity to ask questions and give her honest answers.
  • Help your daughter understand how sacred her body is. Everyone you allow into your private space becomes part of you energetically for the rest of your life. Break down the word intimacy; into me I allow you to see.
  • Sign her up for a teen yoga class so she can begin to understand that she is more than just her body but rather a divine combination of body, mind and spirit.
  • Ask your daughter to make a list of the qualities she would look for in a friend, boyfriend and yes, even in a soul mate so that she will never settle for just anyone who comes along.
  • Hire a Life Coach for your daughter to help her find her voice and power, unearth her innermost desires and dreams and make choices that will lead her in the direction of her goals.

Kathleen Hassan, The Queen of Teen Self-Esteem, is an author, professional speaker and teen life coach and travels the country presenting programs on self-esteem, stress management and empowerment. Her hard-earned wisdom and real-life lessons are based on her own journey from troubled teen to teen mentor to successful entrepreneur. She can be reached at 617-698-1976 or visit her online at http://www.KathleenHassan.com.

 

rss feed
Posted in Dating & Relationships | Self-Esteem |
Comments (0)

Save the Mask for Halloween

 October 4, 2007 by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

With Halloween just around the corner, it got me thinking about masks – not in the costume sense, but rather in the way we hide our true selves from others.

When we were little, wearing masks was all about playing make believe and pretending to be someone else just for fun. But as we get older and the pressure to fit in gets bigger, we may wear a mask to try and get others to like us or accept us into the group. Before long, we get so good at fooling others that eventually we wind up deceiving ourselves because even we don’t know who we really are. 

We all have our roles in life; student, son, daughter, mother, father, teacher, friend. But there may be roles that we play and masks we wear that we may not even be aware of and that may be keeping us trapped in fear and insecurity.

For example, you may be someone who demands perfection from everything that you do. In some ways, that characteristic will serve you, but more often than not, this kind of striving can leave you feeling like you’ll never be good enough. You may be wearing the mask of the judge, who is forever criticizing and demanding perfection of yourself and others.

If you’ve ever done anything just to fit in, or said “yes” when you really wanted to say “no,” you may be wearing the mask of the chameleon that continually changes its colors to blend in with any environment, which can put you in compromising and even dangerous situations. 

There are others too such as; the bully, the victim, the imposter, the rebel, the clown – and all of them are covering up feelings of insecurity about who you really are. There is no shame in discovering that you’ve been wearing a mask. But it’s important to realize this truth – not everyone is going to like us. So if we live our lives becoming the best, most authentic version of ourselves, the people that do like us, actually like us for who we really are. 

Wearing masks may give us temporary relief and may give us the illusion that we are safe and secure, but it takes so much energy to keep up the façade that eventually we end up exhausted and depressed. If you keep pressing the real you down, the only possible and inevitable outcome is depression.

Here are 3 tips to help you take off the mask:

  • Get to know yourself: This is one of the most important jobs you have in life. Self-knowledge is the key to self-mastery, power, self-confidence and inner peace.
  • Stop comparing yourself to others: There is no one on the planet quite like you and the world wouldn’t be the same without you in it. It is so much more important to be a first rate version of you instead of a second rate version of someone else.
  • Celebrate your strengths: make a list of everything you like about yourself. Like attracts like, so when you focus on your strengths, you’ll attract more positive people, events and situations back to you.

Save the mask for Halloween. The world doesn’t need another insecure, depressed teen. We need strong, confident leaders. We need you.

 

rss feed
Posted in Self-Esteem |
Comments (0)